Club Reviews

Ontario and Upland Reviews

Nude Deja Vu, Ontario

5282 Mission Blvd., Ontario
Exit 60 Fwy East @ Chino/Montclair, left on Central, left on Mission
(909) 627-9806
Web site:
Sun: 3pm - 3am, Mon - Thr: 12pm - 3am, Fri - Sat: 12pm - 4am
Room capacity: 186
Last review: 11/2004
Last visit: 11/2004

ExteriorMany moons ago, this was the old Eye Full Club where I got my very first lap dance ever, and was my favorite club.  So I have some fond memories from my youth.  Since then, they've had at least 2 complete renovations, the last one being a massive one that makes the entire building look completely different, inside and out.  In fact, it looked so different, I passed the building coming to the club.

The front entrance is on the north side of the building.  There is ample free parking all round the building but on busy nights, the large parking lot can get full so come early.  Upon entry to the lobby area, there is a cashier/doorman who will take your cover ($5 before 7pm, $10 after 7pm, plus $10 bottomless drinks, couples free) and produce a bar-coded ticket from a touch screen.  Then the customer places the ticket into an electronic reader with an LCD display, on one of 2 turnstiles.  All this high-tech stuff at the entrance could even give Disneyland technology envy.  More tech talk later.

To the left are stairs going up to the "Love Boutique," where you can browse and purchase DVDs, sexy-wear, adult toys, and other cool sexy stuff. This area also has private booths (with lockable doors) with plasma screens for viewing adult movies in private.  Yes, plasma screens.

Love Boutique Interior
Inside the Love Boutique: Plenty of DVDs, private booths for video viewing, adult toys, and sexy-wear.  Perfect for breaking the ice on a very sexy date.

The Boutique format is pretty standard with all Deja Vu clubs.  However, one added benefit here is a couple friendly dressing room which contain 2 small areas within the room.  The outside area has a small cushy chair for the man (or observer), then a curtained off area for the woman (or dressing person) to dress/undress, and come out to be checked-out.  Apparently, if a customer wants to purchase clothes for a dancer, he can bring her in here for a "private" fitting.  I really like this idea.  While we were hanging out in this area, I was surprised at how many couples came through the store.

Back down stairs, the club is toward the right with the stage on the far side of the room, along with the dressing room.  The bar is towards the right, and the DJ booth and lap dance booths are on the other side towards the left.  There are tables and chairs all around the room, making for a comfortable setting for couples as well as club goers.  Compared to the way this club used to look, they have really upgraded the club with a classy bar as well as a fancy bathroom.

The lap dances can be done in the regular ones downstairs for $20 (about 17 booths) and $150 for 30 minutes VIPs upstairs (about 10).  The VIP booths have beds and a curtain at the entrance of each one for privacy.  The booths are timed by a machine, and not by floaters.  Each booth has a vending machine like device which accepts paper money and keeps track of how much time you have for your lap dances.  Each dancer has her own unique electronic key which she touches the machine with, which records her ID and gives her credit for the money that is being placed into the machine.  While the time is going, there are green lights at the top to indicate you are busy.  When those lights go off, your time is up. So, the dances are not timed by the songs that the DJ plays and remain the same length regardless of the songs or events going on the stage.

Some may feel this is impersonal, because a machine gets involved with the money transaction.  But I'm enamored with this device.   This system eliminates one of my biggest strip club pet peeves where dancers and floaters miscount the dances, and rip-off customers, either by mistake or on purpose.  I hope these machines are installed in every club in the future.  They tell me that the next step will be to allow the customer to use credit cards to pay for their lap dances with these machines.  For me, that might be a disaster waiting to happen.  Once they start doing this, I'd have to leave my credit card at home, just like when I go to Vegas.  We all have our weaknesses.

As for the talent situation, there's a lot of young dancers to choose from for laps and view on stage.  On top of that, this club is not afraid to put girl/girl action on stage.  Most of you already know my affinity for that type of action and so I'll spare you the long winded details.  Suffice to say that there seems to be an abundance of bi-sexual activity going on at this club.  I felt like a boy in a candy store.  Or more like a dog in heat.

As with the Bakersfield Deja Vu, this one is also very friendly to birthday boys and bachelor parties.  Mention either and you'll get in free and get to go on stage with all the dancers who will do their thing on stage.  Large parties can also get admission discounts so ask for details.  The bachelor on stage during my visit seemed to be getting the "belt."  Sometimes, you have to take some pain with the pleasure.

All Deja Vu's have weekly specials, and this one is no exception.  Sundays are longer dances by 30%, Wednesdays are 3 songs for $40, and Thursdays the 30 minute VIPs are only $100.

Between the innovative lap dance vending machines, the bottomless drinks (my second pet peeve of waitresses asking "Wanna buy the lady a drink?" while I'm getting lap dances is completely eliminated), young dancers with good attitudes, new upscale environment, and high mileage lap dances, I can highly recommend this club to anyone who enjoys good lap dances.


3.5 First class.


3.0 Very young group here. Higher on weekends.


3.5 Great for nude club.

Nasty Factor

3.5 Bed dances upstairs in booths with curtains.  Need I say more?

Young attractive dancers, high mileage laps, and innovative technology. That's all I ask in life.

Deja Vu, Ontario - 1998

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Bikini Spearmint Rhino, Upland

573 N. Central Ave., Upland
Exit 10 Fwy @ Central
(909) 946-5378
Web site:
Sun - Sat: 11am - 2am
Last review: N/A
Last visit: N/A

Update 2005:
This club is closed.

This club was the original Spearmint Rhino club.

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Nude  Tropical Lei (T & A)

2121 W. Foothill Blvd., Upland
Exit 10 Fwy @ Central, north to Foothill, turn left
(909) 985-1575
(909) 931-0360 (Bookstore)
Web site:
Sun: 3pm - 2am, Mon - Thr: 11am - 2am, Fri - Sat: 11am - 3am
Last review: 1997
Last visit: 7/1997

BuildingThis is still one of the best couch dance club in/near LA, even with a lot of defections to Sahara. Although the quality has gone down, there are a lot of dancers there. Cover is $10, or $15 after 4pm on Fridays and Saturdays. One small stage near the entrance. Lots of floor work here. The back area is for couch dances and is pretty dark most of the time. On slow nights, they have 2 for one and 3 for one laps as well as lights out laps (they turn the lights off).

Bikini ($12), topless ($20), or nude ($40) couch dance available (get topless). Many dancers will stand on the couch and with the proper incentive, give you the peek plus bonus. Pick the right day or night girl (days are a little nastier) and get a mouth full. You can't touch the dancer, but put your hands in the right place on the couch and she will do the work for you. With the proper selection, you will get the best laps in Southern California. Might be too much for some people.

Expert Customer Hints:
Watch the dancers doing laps on the couch on the right side of the men's bathroom. If you see one that you like, and she's doing things that you like, get your dance in that same spot. This is because the nasty dancers like this spot because sometimes the floaters miss their dance and they can hide their nasty moves.

You can buy the dancer a drink and she'll sit and talk a bit. Sometimes, features XXX stars on stage and nude couch dances by feature dancer. The feature used to commonly do girl / girl action on stage but I think they had to stop doing it. Tip the feature really big on stage ($10) and get some nasty action there. Don't go for the nude couch dance with the feature. Nothing much more than what you get for a topless dance, except it's $40.

Trivia: Jill Kelly, the porn star, used to dance there before she met and married Cal Jammer.

Favorites: Checkout Aja, my dancer of the month for July 1997.


2.5 Starting to get a little run down.


2.5 Nice ones mixed in.


2.5 Some will sit and talk.

Nasty Factor

4.0 Good even with the busts.

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Nude Villa Theater

1420 W. Holt Blvd., Ontario
Exit 10 Fwy @ Montclair/Chino, right on Central, left on Holt.
(909) 986-3607
Sun: 1pm - 2am, Mon - Sat: 11am - 2am
Last review: N/A
Last visit: N/A

$13.00 cover charge.  Bikini laps are $11, topless $20, and nude $40.

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