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Definition of Mileage
Anything Goes Date: 5/16/2002  9:16am Whois  Name: saxbeat <>
Subject: Definition of Mileage
Everyone always asks, "What is high mileage?" A lot of times on this board, a guy will talk about a high-mileage dancer, and some guy will say, "You must be kidding! She's as low mileage as it gets!!!"

Here are my proposed objective definitions for mileage:

No mileage = Air dance. No contact at all. Can still be pleasant with a girl with a good attitude, good looks and a sexy, playful persona. Sort of like playing doctor with the cute girl next door.

Low mileage = Minimal contact. Not enough to give you a woody, and certainly not enough to make you splooge. Can be very pleasant with a girl with a good attitude, good looks and a sexy, playful persona.... sort of like a high school tease, or a little dry hump in the hall after science class.

Okay mileage = Good contact, definitely enough to give you a woody, perhaps enough to make you splooge if you close your eyes, use your imagination and get enough dances. Sort of like sex in college with a girl who is trying to be good.

High mileage = Great contact, great grind, you're sportin' wood practically before the song starts. Making you splooge is the obvious intent of the dancer. You'll be lucky if you can last three songs. Sort of like sex in your second year of marriage if you wed the right girl.

Very high mileage = Willy is freed. There is skin-to-skin contact of some sort or another in your genital arena (misspelling intentional ). If LE walks in now, you're probably going to have to register as an SO. Sort of like sex in your fifth year of marriage... with someone other than your wife.

Full mileage = The Deed. Beyond mileage. 'Nuff said. Sort of like sex in a porno flick... You will feel dirty afterwards.

Notice there is nothing here about being able to touch the dancer. That's because it doesn't matter. Just because some skank lets you grab her boobies or finger her love box doesn't mean that you are getting mileage... she is! Stop being such an Alda and tell the beotch to serve your needs, you wimp... Just kidding.

Sax "On Blocks" beat