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Ode to Pussy
Anything Goes Date: 7/14/2002  1:37pm Whois  Name: Blackwell
Subject: Ode to Pussy
Recently, in club, a dancer was trying to tailor her lap dance to my tastes. "What do you like?" she asked. "Are you a boob man or a butt man?"

Damn, sweetheart, I said honestly, I like it all.

"Oh come on," she said, "Every guy has a favorite part."

Pressed (quite literally, heheh) for an answer, I answered, "I'm a leg man." Given that what the dancer really wanted to know was whether I wanted her to grind my cock with her butt or her boobs, this wasn't really a satisfactory answer for her. And for me, it was only half-true.

I do love legs: beautiful, small feet... slim ankles... a calf that is full and firm like a ball of mozzerella cheese... knees that don't stick out or twist in.... thighs that show the cut of the hamstrings, but aren't so thick they remind me of an East German female shot putter, or so thin they remind me of piano legs.

Legs... they make the woman. What good is a firm, plush ass if it is attached to short, varicose stubbies? How fine is a perfect set of 36Ds if what brings them to the height of our attention is a pair of think-ankled, ricotta-thighed gams?

But what I didn't tell that dancer, and what my true answer is that while I do love legs, I am in truth a pussy man. The legs are only the neon arrows pointing to the pussy. The pussy is the cherry on top of the perfect sundae. It is the ribbon on the gift. It is, of course, the Grail that all men seek.

But I don't just like pussy because I want to fuck it (although that helps). I like the look of it, the smell of it, the feel of it, the taste of it. Pussy is the only part of a woman that appeals to all the senses. (Except, I guess hearing... unless one counts the beautiful sound a pussy makes as it is being fucked by a large cock...)

Some guys say all pussy is the same, but it isn't. There is cute pussy and funky pussy. Pretty pussy and ugly pussy. Beautiful pussy and wretched pussy. Young and old don't much matter. Neither do black or white or brown. Even shaved and unshaved don't matter, ultimately. All those things are like makeup on a face: A beautiful pussy is beautiful no matter what, while a wretched pussy can be covered up, but it is still wretched.

That joke by MrFunny the other day compared a pussy to a fresh rose, but really pussies are snowflakes: No two are alike.

The difference between being a pussy man and a face or boob or ab or butt or leg man is that being a pussy man requires a certain level of intimacy that the others don't. I've seen dancers who were perfect 10s in every respect, whose pussies almost sent me screaming from the room. I've seen fat, unattractive, stringy haired dancers whose perfect pussies held me in a trance. Put a woman in a low-cut top, a short skirt, a bathing suit, or lingerie, and you will satisfy all your imagination about her various parts... except her pussy... the most secret part, even in strip clubs often covered by the thinnest strip of cloth, the modest hand, the feather....

I've known a few dancers who fully understood the power and beauty of the pussy. One of them told me she looks at her pussy in a mirror before she goes on stage to make sure it is perfect. Another told me that most men are still afraid and embarrassed to stare at a pussy. "Look around," she said, "Dancers who are too in-your-face with their pussies on stage scare guys away." I'll never forget the shock of watching a particularly blatant dancer on stage flaunting her pussy with abandon, and as she came around to me, I looked at her beautiful pussy and realized that she had very, very recently been fucked. (Anyone who questions how I would know this is obviously not a serious student of pussy!) No wonder she was getting so many takes on her lap dance offers. By flaunting her wide-open, red pussy, she was telling anyone who cared to pay attention, "I fuck customers." I looked into her eyes, and she smiled at me, with wicked pleasure.

Pussy is wonderful. That's why I love strip clubs: Where else can you see so many different pussies, where it is accepted and even expected that you will look closely at them, and you can look and smile and enjoy without fear of reprisal? One of my favorite dancers looked at her pussy in the mirror surrounding the stage and said, "I like being able to see what you guys see!"

If you are going to nude clubs, your experience will be enhanced if you pay more attention to pussy. I wonder if porno directors consider the visual appearance of an actress' pussy when they cast her for a certain role? When a pussy is being blown up to fill a big TV screen or a movie screen, it better look good!

Considering it's been 20 years since Larry Flynt popularized the phrase "Think Pink" and Judy Chicago rocked the world with her giant pussy dinner plates, you'd think pussy would be more popular as an attribute, as an art form, as an icon of popular culture than it is. It's funny that guys spend all their lives trying to get a little pussy, but have such a hard time appreciating it. It's amazing that calling someone a "pussy" is derogatory. What could be better than to be a beautiful, desired, envied and loved pussy, bearer of life and giver of pleasure? Okay, maybe that is taking it a little too far, but funny how our culture turns it into a shameful thing.

We've still got a long way to go. I'm just doing my little part, one pussy at a time.

Here's to pussy!

Blackwell, certified lover of pussy