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Ask Z Bone For 2002
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Please note that Z Bone is not a doctor, lawyer, psychologist, CPA, or auto mechanic and therefore all comments made by him are his own views and are to be used "as is". What he says is only true if it's true for you. As always, YMMV.

Am I Getting Played?
Sat 12/28/02 3:23 PM

Q:
I've been going to strip clubs for a few years now, and I've know a few dancers outside of the club. Sometimes, I've gotten into in depth conversations with dancers about how the whole game works between customer and dancer. One trick I've seen over and over again, is when a dancer acts like she's into a customer, and particularly if she thinks the guy's got money, she'll slip him her number on a cocktail napkin. Maybe they'll even make a tentative date. Of course the guy is stoked. So, he calls, or goes to meet her at the designated spot, and she doesn't call back or she doesn't show up. He's a little annoyed, but he goes back to the club anyway to see her again. She sees him, immediately apologizes, and turns on the charm even more. He forgives her, and buys more dances from her. They agree to talk again outside the club, and maybe this time she answers and chats a little bit. She's too! busy to meet him, but she mentions she'll be working Tuesday and Saturday and he should come by to see her. He does, and he spends more money on her while ignoring all the other dancers and unbeknownst to him, has become her "regular." He'll figure out eventually she has no interest in seeing him, but by that time she's added a few other schmucks to her "regular" list and she really doesn't need him anymore.

My question? I can get girls of dancer caliber outside the club, but I'm always suspicious of dancers in or out of the club. I think the nature of what they do warps some of them, and I don't trust them. But, I might have missed out of some opportunities because of that thinking. Also just as likely, I saved myself some money and some pride. How can you tell when you're being played or if they're sincere?
Z:
It's very easy to see if you are being played or not.  Do not spend any money on her, period.  Understand that I am not saying get a few dances. I literally mean, do not spend one cent on them.  If they still want to see you outside the club, they are probably sincere.  The ones that are trying to scam you for money will quickly quit trying to scam you when they don't get any money from you.

However, there is another level beyond just money.  There are some dancers that just want to quit dancing.  They are not even looking for rich husbands.  They just want to get married to anybody and be a housewife.  These girls will do whatever they need to (including getting pregnant) to get a husband.  I can say the same about many non-dancers as well. Be careful out there.
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Velvet Pants OK?
Wed 12/4/02 3:34 AM

Q:
I had a question on what to wear to a club. I was thinking about getting a pair of velvet dress pants. I found a place that can make me a custom fit pair. Do think that would be acceptable atire? I primarily visit a topless bar with a strict dress code.
Z:
I don't know how strict the dress code is in your area, but it would fly here in LA.  In any case, it's a very interesting idea.  Maybe you could sell these pants for other lappers.
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Sushi Dancers?
Sat 11/30/02 4:15 AM

Q:
i've heard of mythical places in asia where you can have sushi served to you on a nude women. are these places just myths? does such a place exist in LA? sounds delicious.
Z:
I don't know if they exist or not in Asia but I wouldn't be too surprised since I've heard of brothels where you can get a blow job while you are meeting at a table.

As far as in Los Angeles, there are none that are open to the public that I'm aware of. There's no reason why somebody couldn't offer that privately but it would be illegal to have a public club because I'm sure that would violate health codes.
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Can I Dance in the U.S.?
Sat 6/8/02 5:25 AM

Q:
I'm an Australian dancer who has just arrived in Hawaii to dance, only to find out that all the respectable clubs require the dancer to have a liquor card, which of course you need to show US residency for. Off the top of your head, would you know where in the States is a good, safe place to dance which doesn't require a licence? I'm a lap dancer, but definitely nothing more.

Z:
First of all, please keep in mind that I am not an attorney. I just play one on TV. Having said that, I have not been to Hawaii in several years so I didn't realize they required a liquor card now.  In California, each city has different laws.  The City of Commerce, Beverly Hills, Westminster, to name a few, require a special "dancer" permit that you must obtain from the city.  The price varies from a few dollars (I think $7) to $1000 in Beverly Hills (which the city is being sued for and might have been changed).  The rest of the cities do not require a permit as far as I know. 

However, the more "legal" or upscale clubs are now requiring the dancers to be on payroll, which requires a social security number, which requires legal status in the States.  You can still find many clubs that are not complying and will hire people without papers or a good fake ID, as long as you are good looking.  Of course, there are always low end clubs that will hire anybody.

I don't know what the current situation is in Las Vegas, NV but I suspect there are a lot of illegal workers there.  However, they do require you to have a permit to work legally but some clubs may let you slide if you are good looking.

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How To Celebrate Dancer Retirement?
Fri 6/7/02 5:46 AM

Q:
How do you handle dancers that you see regularly when they decide to quit dancing and/or move away? Do you do anything special for them [take them out, buy them special gifts (for them or for you), etc.]? Is there anything to look out for as far as their remaining time left and money that you usually give them? Do you do anything different if the dancer quits for good as opposed to if later on she goes back to dancing? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Z:
Personally, I have different type of dancer friends. The ones that I just get dances from, I feel it's just business and so although I might get some "good-bye" dances from them, but I don't do anything special.

However, I have other dancer friends that I feel are my real friends. I don't get dances from them, and they don't get money from me. For those people, I take them out with other friends for one last party, the same way I would for any good friend of mine that's retiring.

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Where Can Girls Have Fun With Girls?
Wed 5/15/02 3:54 AM

Q:

With basically no luck what so ever, I have been searching for information or reviews for the lesbians in Southern California. I used to frequent Scamps, Captain Cream's (I absolutely LOVED a dancer there named Ginger), and Ecstacy's... and often times my friends and I were the only females in there looking for the same thing the men were looking for... Good looking women and a good time!

Any good recommendations for 18+ clubs? I am looking for classy, and fun, seeing as this is a birthday celebration. Any ideas will be helpful!
Z:
I have a FAQ for your question at: http://archive.zbone.com/zone/faqfemale.htm#Lesbian

I was recently at Captain Cream and although there is no longer wrestling, it's classy. If you liked Captain Cream, you might also try The Library or Plan B. At all of these clubs, the girls there are good looking and you can drink, and it's classy, and there's also food.  However, there's not much touching going on. If you want to mingle with the Hollywood crowd, try Crazy Girls.

If you want a little more touching, I highly recommend 4 Play.  Great looking girls, upscale and classy, nude and more touching than alcohol clubs.

If you want a LOT of touching, and great looking girls, I don't think you can beat Ecstasy that's on your list.

There are a lot of other clubs that have very high mileage and nasty dancing but it's probably not what you are looking for a birthday celebration.

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What Happened to T-Bob?
Tue 5/7/02 3:03 PM

Q:
What happened to Texas T-Bob?
Z:
I'm not sure. T-Bob! If you're out there, please email me.
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What's a Looker?
Thu 4/4/02 2:45 PM

Q:
What do you mean when you say no good lookers?
Z:
I use that term for 9+ girls. So a club with "no good lookers" just means I didn't see any 9+ girls.

Q:
Do you mean ugly in the face and a bumpy behind?
Z:
No. I don't think girls that are 5-8 are ugly, just not lookers.

Q:
I guess I just want to know if a man gets more turned off by an ugly face or an unattractive body.
Z:
I think that depends on the man. For me, an ugly face is definitely a big turn off. An unattractive body is a turn off too but it depends on how bad it is. Small breasts do not bother me but being really fat is a turn off.  If I had to choose between a girl with an ugly face and a good body and a girl with a good face and an ugly body, I'll take the girl with the good face.  Generally speaking, I think most men are the opposite to me when they are at a strip club.

Q:
And how flawed can a girl be to still make good money?
Z:
Again, this would depend several factors. In high mileage lap factories, many customers do not care that much about the looks. In low mileage stage clubs, looks becomes more important. The general rule of thumb would be that you don't want to be in the lower half in the looks department out of all the girls that work on your shift. You certainly don't want to be the ugliest girl at the club. If you are in the lower half, move to another club where you aren't.
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Where Can I Find Booths?
Wed 4/3/02 3:22 PM

Q:
i live in southern cal, and i only go to clubs with private booths, not vip rooms with tons of guys.

so far, i have only found deja vu/north hollywood to my liking. it is ok, i like it because of the half hour shows for $100, but there are no hot blondes.

i have been to baby dolls in pomona, and deja vu/ontario as well, but the talent is severely lacking. they are the only other ones with booths that i know of.

do you know of other clubs in so cal with booths and blondes. i have searched your site, and most just have vip's.
Z:
PlayPen, Players Club (same owners) and Classy Lady of Oz have booths with curtains on the entry so you are in there by yourself. At Players, the booths with the curtains cost more. They have booths without curtains also. At Playpen, I think all the booths have see-thru curtains. 4 Play, Body Shop, Seventh Veil, Gentlemen's Club, Century Theater, Ecstasy, Valley Ball, Bare Elegance, and Jet Strip all have booths (i.e. booths separating you from others). There are probably other ones but I can't remember off the top of my head.

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Can I Be Fresh Meat?
Sun 3/17/02 3:15 PM

Q:
I wanted to ask you, if you work in a club for awhile, and then leave, are you fresh meat when you return?
Z:
To a certain extent. You are not fresh meat to the old regulars but you will be fresh meat to the others.

Q:
How long would you have to be gone before you were fresh meat again?
Z:
I would say about 2 years. In theory, if you came back with surgical enhancements, you might fool more regulars.

Q:
Or do you only get once chance at that?
Z:
To be "real" fresh meat, I think you only have one chance. However, I have seen a few dancers who have returned with a new look after a few years and got treated almost like fresh meat.
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Should I Loan Money to a Dancer?
Tue 2/26/02 2:51 PM

Q:
A dancer recently asked me if she could borrow a couple of hundred dollars from me. She promised me that she would pay me back as soon as she could. I think that she will but I've been burned before. Is this something I should do? If so, what steps should I take as far as loaning her the money? Are there any signs I should look out for? Are there alternate methods/remedies I could pursue if she somehow doesn't pay me back?
Z:
I've been in the same situation many times. Basically, my rule of thumb is, never loan any money that you need back. Most of the time, a dancer will not repay your money or will make a half-attempt at replaying some of it. The best thing to do is consider it as a gift, not a loan. If you think giving her a "gift" will put you in a good situation with her and she would appreciate it, then give her the money. However, don't expect any sexual favors for a couple of hundred dollars. If that's the kind of thing you are looking for, it would be better to simply suggest that she does a "private" for you and you'd pay her for it.

In the past, I've loaned dancers money by accepting jewelry and other items for collateral. On a few occasions, I did get my money back after a few years but most of the time, I was stuck with some items that I could not sell or give away.

As for signs, the sign is that dancers normally make a lot of money. If this dancer needs to "borrow" money, either she has a drug habit, cannot save money and spends too much, or cannot make money dancing. In any of these cases, you will not likely get your money back.

Regarding remedies, of course you can sue in small claims court if you had a signed document. Otherwise, if you paid her in cash, forget it. Personally, I would advise against it because loaning a dancer money is the quickest way for her NOT to want to see you anymore because she feels guilty that she owes you money, or she will feel that you are going to badger her for the money. Therefore, if you ever want to "get rid" of a dancer, loan her some money. You'll never see her again.

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Where Can I Find Big Racks?
Thu 2/7/02 1:44 AM

Q:
My roommate & I are looking for a club with busty dancers. Can you recall seeing any "larger" girls (at least 34D's) at one particular club or another or is it just a roulette wheel like it was back home in Colorado?
Z:
I think there's a big bust dancer at Classy Lady but I don't remember her name. Generally speaking, I think topless clubs tend to have more busty dancers but it's basically a roulette wheel like you said.
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Need Some Bedroom Advice
Wed 2/6/02 3:14 PM

Q:
Hi.  I have been married for 2 1/2 years and have a great relationship with my husband in all facets except the bedroom.

He doesn't really make me want to jump his bones, and because I am hard to please (it takes me 20 minutes to climax usually) it is hard for him too.

Both of our sex drives are pretty low, so mustering the energy for a mediocre sex session is not too frequent.  Any ideas to improve our love life?

And lastly, how does one find the G spot?
Z:
First off, please realize that I am not a doctor or therapist.  When you state that he doesn't make you want to jump his bones, I assume that you mean that he's not romantic or does not appreciate foreplay.  I think you need to talk to him to make him understand your needs.  If you've already talked to him about it and he doesn't seem to care, that's a different problem, which you might have to deal with first.

As for you taking 20 minutes to climax, I know many women who take that long (or longer) so I don't think that should be a big issue. You might try masturbating to know how to climax faster and show your husband the proper techniques.

Luckily, both of your sex drives are low (instead of it being lop-sided).  I think going to strip clubs together might help you get the juices started. I have a list of suggested ones for couples at: http://archive.zbone.com/zone/faqclub.htm#Wife

To find your G-spot, first try to find it yourself during masturbation.  Lie flat on your back and insert your finger inside and feel around to during your session until you find it.  There are books that will have diagrams to help you locate it.  It is not very deep inside so you should not have to go too far inside.  Once you have found it yourself, you can help your husband find it.

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Which Unfriendly Clubs?
Mon 1/28/02 9:07 PM

Q:
I just read your faq again and in it you stated that not all clubs are zbone.com friendly.  I sometimes ask a dancer if I can post about them on your site.  Which clubs should I not say anything or is it just better not to say anything and review without permission?
Z:
I think it's safe to ask dancers if you can post a message.  If you really want to be safe, just don't mention anything about the Internet.  Many dancers have had bad reviews on websites and they often confuse zbone.com with others which allow postings of illegal activities.
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To Listen or Not to Listen
Tue 1/22/02 4:57 PM

Q:
when talking to a dancer and she's telling you about her likes/dislikes, her problems (boyfriends'/husbands', baby's fathers', etc.), how's her day going and anything else personal, is it a good idea to continue the conversation or do you just let her know you're not interested in hearing that (in terms of her thinking of you as a friend)?
Z:
Well, you need to be diplomatic on this matter. If your relationship is just customer and dancer, you don't want to become her "best friend". Always remember that in general, women don't want to have sex with their "friend". However, you also don't want her to think you are a complete "asshole". I'd suggest you listen but don't encourage her with more questions or prompting.
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Give Me Some Skills!
Tue 1/22/02 4:03 PM

Q:
When approaching a dancer for a private dance, is it a good idea to ask a dancer if she's done private dances before?
Z:
Yes, I do. It's unlikely that a dancer will lie and say that she has if she hasn't. If she has, she's not going to use some excuse about not doing private dances. However, there is a chance she might lie and say she hasn't to make you think that "you're the first". This may scare you away, but that's her loss.

Q:
If so, what other questions should I ask: when was the last time, what did/do you do, how much did you charge/how much you normally charge,etc.
Z:
"When" is not very important, but the other questions are good once you get to that point. Don't rush into it too quickly or she might think you're a cop.

Q:
Also, is it ever okay to ask if they have a boyfriend/husband (as far as seeing if she would be willing to do private dances).
Z:
It's okay but I wouldn't. In my experience, it really doesn't matter if she's married or has a boyfriend. If she does good privates, that's all you should care about, unless you are looking to marry her. In fact, if she is married, and tells you so, it might make her not want to do a private for you because she is embarrassed or feels guilty now that you know she's married. My motto: Don't ask, don't tell.
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Screenwriter Needs Help
Fri 1/4/02 3:04 PM

Q:
I'm a screenwriter doing some research on strip clubs and particularly the dancers, both of which will be featured heavily in my next script... and no it's not a skin flick!  I'm making a concerted effort to realistically portray the lifestyle and the characters who live it.  Could you give me a hand?  I've already conducted a good bit of research by visiting some clubs, and now I'm looking for three specific things:

1. Among the dancers/industry is there a "the" club to dance at in Los Angeles?  In other words, if you're a dancer at "X," you're at the top of the game.  This could be the case either for "art's" sake (yeah, yeah... I know) or by virtue of the amount of money the girls pull in on a daily basis.

2. Can you recommend anyplace that has an awesome interior that I can envision as a possible set?  I'm looking for a "typical" club (no fancy themes), but one that's still cool to look at.  To give you an idea of what I'm thinking of, if you've ever been to the Little Darlings in Vegas, that's my current set piece.  I'd like to have my actresses work the poles a lot, so a good (perhaps tall) pole would be helpful.

3. Is there anyplace you can think of where the girls are friendly enough that they'd be willing to talk to me and answer questions, etc., without me having to pay them an arm and a leg?  I'd like to talk to as many girls as possible, and if I do that, there's no way I can afford to pay them all-- I'm not rich, but I need to do my research.  At most, I'll pop for a required drink sale and squeeze in the interview that way.
Z:
1) I think my top 5 list on my website should give you a good idea of the top clubs.  However, money wise, Spearmint Rhino (City of Industry) is still #1 in Los Angeles.  For girls who want to meet celebrities and do Hollywood "stuff", they work at Crazy Girls.  For girls who are more into the "art" of dancing, they work at Cheetah's.  The girls that are more into other fields (e.g. writing, singing, performance art), they work at Jumbos.  The best looking girls work at 4 Play because of the location and upscale customers.  Each club has pros and cons for any particular dancer.  Some dancers just want to make the most $, others like a more friendly atmosphere, while others like a particular management style.  These factors determine which club a dancer will work at.

2) I have been to Little Darlings in Vegas.  I'm not exactly sure what you like about it except for the tall poles.  To me, it looks like any other Deja Vu.   I have a review in my Vegas section at: http://archive.zbone.com/club/travel/p-lvnv.htm

As for "cool" looking clubs, you might try Fritz Too (in Anaheim) because it's 2 stories and you can look down at the stage from upstairs.  Also take a look at Sam's Hofbrau. It's in a iffy area of downtown but the stage has 4 vertical and 3 (I think) horizontal poles, a ring, and a bunch of other stuff on stage.  The pictures on their website is too dark and you can't really see the horizontal bars but take a look at the last pictures on their website for "movie locations" at: http://www.samshofbrau.com/movie.htm

You might also take a look at The Library.  4 Play also has a very tall pole but the stage is small.  If I remember correctly, Cheetah's also has a tall pole.

3) That's a tough one because the dancers are at a club to make money.  I would suggest you go to bikini or topless clubs because they are more likely to chat and drink with you than most nude clubs which have become lap factories.  Most girls just will walk up to you and ask "Do you want a lap dance?"  If your answer is no, they walk away.  Many of my Dancer of the Months have emails and/or websites so you can contact them to see if they might be interested.

I will warn you in advance that this is a very common pickup line (e.g. "I'm a writer researching blah blah blah", "I'm a director for music videos" etc), and therefore don't expect all the dancers to believe you.

For example, I was asked by the casting director for Madonna's "Music" video to find some good dancers for them but was told not to reveal who the video was for.  I asked about 50 dancers who all turned me down because they are all used to scams like that.  It was not until I got permission to tell them it was a Madonna video that I got about 6 dancers who wanted to audition.

Also, the movie industry has given itself a bad name by "using" dancers for research and not giving them credit.  Many dancers who have helped in the past are no longer willing because they basically got nothing out of it except their lives were shown in a movie.  But there are exceptions. I know a writer that has interviewed many dancers and have had good luck with them telling her every gory detail of their lives.  It just takes a lot of work to find the right ones.  A lot of work. Good luck on your project.

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