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Ask Z Bone For 2003
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Please note that Z Bone is not a doctor, lawyer, psychologist, CPA, or auto mechanic and therefore all comments made by him are his own views and are to be used "as is". What he says is only true if it's true for you. As always, YMMV.

My wifes first lesbian experience

Sat 12/13/2003 5:17 PM

Q:
This is not a dancer question, but one that you might have an answer for.

A female friend of ours is very attracted to my wife. Each time we go out, then come back to our home this other woman cant keep her hands off of my wife. I find it very sexy and a big turn on. My wife and I discussed this in the past and she said she would like to try it. as long as I only watched. She even told me that she would like to have oral sex with another woman.

Well, on 2 occasions they have kissed and fondled boobs but that is it, My wife told me that she felt strange about it. She was more relaxed the second time which was just the other day. But still was weird. I know that I should be fortunate just to have such a sexy and adventurous wife, but my question to you is what should a woman feel like when trying this for the first time? Is this something that takes time to work up too? Is there a web site that might help her to understand if these feelings are normal, after all, IM almost at getting every mans fantasy, I don't want to stop when IM we are this close....;-)
Z:
There are probably plenty of websites that could help with your situation. However, I am not familiar with them off hand. Also, as you read my advice, please remember that I am not a doctor or therapist.

Regarding your wife feeling "weird" about the experience, you may want to talk to her more about what exactly she was feeling. If it was "weird" because the other female is her friend, that would be normal. Especially, since you also know the woman, perhaps your wife is feeling apprehensive because of the possible implications afterwards. In this case, you may want to discuss with your wife how this "friend" would stay or leave in your lives after any encounter. If it would put your wife (or you) in an awkward situation with the friend, perhaps you should find another person.

However, if she was feeling "weird" regarding the sexual aspect of the encounter, that may be an indication that she is not bi-sexually inclined. I've been in many situations with bi-curious women and usually, it only takes a few drinks for some experimentation to take place. Sometimes, the man can prompt the women to start their experimentation with some encouraging words. If a woman is bi-sexual, but suppressing her feelings, once things get started, she will become turned on. If not, she is probably not bi-sexual and she may feel "weird" and not turned on. I suggest you ask your wife the direct question: "Did you get wet thinking about being with your friend?" If the answer was yes, she is obviously bi-sexual. If not, she may be curious but not really bi-sexual.

The best thing you can do would be to talk about this more with your wife and investigate further into why she felt "weird". You can then make your decision based on her answer.

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History and pricing

Sun 10/26/2003 6:07 PM

Q:
zbone,
hey, how's it going? looking to you for some answers...

a few of us have been going to clubs on a regular basis since around 1990, all across the country. we have a small business and travel for a living. a couple of weeks ago we got to talking with a guy who was saying things about clubs we have never experienced and have been trying to find out if any or all is true out of curiosity. he said he'd been going to clubs since about 1985/86 and up until about 1997 could find the following in any one club: girls wearing a variety of bottoms from g-strings to bikinis, you could ask for, and the girls would do any kind of dance from table, to lap, to private room and they would even dance 'on top' of the table....all for $5-$10.

we have NEVER seen or heard of any of this before and like I stated, our timing overlapped a few years. this guy said he found this all across the country. your comments and clarification would be appreciated. we seem to be a little intrigued about this for some reason. seems a little unbelievable to us. thanks for your time.
Z:
The going price for lances in Arizona seems to be $5-$10, at least it was about 5 years ago. I don't know what the situation is like there right now. There are probably other parts of the country where you could get cheap dances, but usually, these types of clubs are in bad areas and not safe unless you know how to be safe.

Back in the day (like 1986), Tropicana had $1 lap dances but it was basically air unless you paid more.  In fact, even as late as 1998, TJ's in Stanton, CA was offering $10 lap dances. Currently, Sam's Hofbrau in downtown Los Angeles offers $10 lap dances ($20 table dances) and Imperial Showgirls have $10 lap dances which are bargains.

So if you look hard, you can still find these bargains. However, I find that usually you get what you paid for.

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What goes on at male strip clubs?

Tue 10/14/2003 2:37 PM

Q:
i'm curious about the male strip clubs. Did the male strippers get completely nude? How much are they allowed to touch you? How much physical contact did you have with the dancers? Do the dancers masturbate on stage/private dances etc?
Z:
At most male strip clubs, the male strippers do not get completely nude. However, sometimes things get out of control and things may "slip out." Regarding touching, although legally they should not touch you, there is a lot of touching by the dancer and even more touching by the female customers.

The dancers are not allowed to masturbate, and in fact, if they become aroused, could be sited with a violation. I've heard that most male dancers masturbate before a show to prevent becoming aroused during their show.

From what I've heard, the female customers at male strip clubs are the ones that get really wild and drunk.  They get grabby and touchy feely and sometimes things get really crazy.

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All the way?

Wed 10/1/2003 3:53 AM

Q:
i dont know if all the strippers go all the way.. do they?
Z:
The answer is no. I personally know one that doesn't.
 
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No more lap dances

Wed 9/24/2003 1:40 PM

Q:
What can we do about this ridiculous new BS law about no lap dancing. It is so stupid.
Z:
There are two problems that voters like us can do to change. At the local level, all 13 council members voted for this anti-lap dance ordinance. In the next election, show them your displeasure by voting against them. This is the democratic way.

Also, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in May of 2003, 5 to 4 in favor of zoning laws in Los Angeles. This is one of the reasons Los Angeles feels emboldened to enact new ordinances. Supreme Court justices are appointed by the President. Therefore, in the next Presidential election, be sure to vote for a candidate that would more likely be liberal about strip clubs and related matters. Not an easy matter since most reporters don't ask questions related to strip clubs to Presidential candidates.

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Lap dance ban unconstitutional

Wed 9/24/2003 2:18 AM

Q:
Parts of the new law seem unconstitutional to me. How can you ban a form of dance? It seems that the city has lost focus. Why doesn't the city pass tougher zoning laws, which would no doubt stand up in court. Instead it passes this new law that seems to have a chance of being over turned and just makes L.A. look silly. Didn't Anaheim try something like this in 1999 and wasn't that law over turned?
Z:
This is a very common misconception which has been created by the media. The ordinance does not outlaw lap dancing. Instead, it requires that dancers be 6' away from customers while performing (which would include lap dancing). However, unlike Anaheim, which tried to make lap dancing prostitution, being closer than 6' from a customer is NOT illegal. In other words, nothing will happen to the dancer. Instead, the violation is a "strike" against the club, which can (and will) be used against the club, when it must now renew it's permit each year. Currently, once the club gets it's permit, it's very hard for them to lose it. With this new ordinance, the club will first be fined, then eventually, if the violations continue, would lose their permit. Of course, without a permit, the club cannot continue to operate legally.

This move was very clever on the part of LA because they learned their lesson from Anaheim. The lesson was, don't make the act illegal, just take away the permit. First off, having a distance requirement is already in effect for alcohol clubs, and have been ruled to be constitutional. Taking away a permit is no different from taking away a driver's license. The permit is not a constitutionally protected item. It's a privilege that can be taken away if violations are found. Basically, what this means is, the dancers can freely to whatever they like. However, the club is going to get in trouble for their actions.

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Backup plans by club owners

Wed 9/17/2003 5:48 PM

Q:
can you give any insight or information regarding back up plans for strip clubs in respect to the new LA council ruling and regulations? What are club owners gonna do?
Z:
About 20 club owners are meeting today at 5pm at an undisclosed location. I will be hearing back from them as to what the next course of action might be. One option they are considering is putting this ordinance on a referendum which would be voted on by the voters. This is a delay tactic that would put the ordinance on hold for about 3 years.

Q:

Will there be private clubs?
Z:
There are private clubs now. If you mean, will there be more, the answer is probably yes.

Q:

Someone told me that all the clubs have to do is sell private party memberships? Please, let me know.
Z:
I know that they do this in other states, especially ones that are dry (no alcohol allowed). In those states, you "buy a membership" (which is basically like a cover charge), then you are a member of a "private club", and you are allowed to drink there. The same tactic might be able to be used here. However, it's more likely that clubs will gradually move to other cities.
 
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Lap dance ban

Wed 9/17/2003 4:59 AM

Q:
The news has been reporting that the lapdance ban law has been passed. What does that mean for clubs in LA and what are the chances of having this repealed?
Z:
The Mayor must first sign this ordinance (he has 30 days to do so and has already stated that he will sign), then in theory, it could take effect in 60 days.

The club owners are meeting tomorrow (Wed) at 5pm at an undisclosed location. They will determine at the meeting what the best course of action will be for them, and they will pool their resources to fight the ordinance.

However, in my opinion (and the opinion of Roger Diamond, one of the lawyers representing the clubs), although they will be able to delay the ordinance from taking effect, it will eventually become active. It's clear to see the clubs will eventually lose because similar ordinances and laws have been passed in other cities in California (Anaheim, Westminster, San Diego) and other cities in other states (Tampa, Honolulu, New York) and even other states (Washington) and most have been upheld in higher courts with some modifications.

Therefore, to answer your question, the odds of it being completely repealed is probably close to zero. The odds of delaying it from being implemented, for at least 6 months, and possibly for 3-5 years is a possibility.

Moreover, just because an ordinance goes into effect does not mean that there will be enough resources to enforce it. As with other laws, enforcement will depend on the Mayor and what his agenda will be in terms of how much resources he will divert to enforcing this particular ordinance. Only time will tell how much resources will be available for enforcement.

It's clear that things will not be the same, probably ever again.

[Editor's note: Since this was written back in 2003, the club owners and the city has come up with a compromised ordinance which is weaker than the original ordinance.  For more info, see headlines.]

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Jane Magazine pushes jack shacks

Thu 5/15/2003 2:25 AM

Q:
At some doctor's office I read an article from the December 2002 issue of Jane Magazine about lingerie models. There's a "club" in Atlanta called "Fantasy Fare," where "models" pose for masturbating men. I would like to try to find employment here in California and was wondering if you knew of any places offering the same service. Thanks for your time.
Z:
If you don't mind being in the same room with the customers, checkout the Paris House, Eros Station, Exotic City and Lingerie Dreams.

If you don't want to be in the same room and just want the customer to see you on the other side of a glass wall, checkout Venus Fair in the Valley.

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What's that smell?

Sun 5/11/2003 3:35 AM

Q:
have you ever come across a dancer that smelled really bad from body odor?? 
Z:
Yes,
 
Q:
and is there any club where body odor will be tolerated?
Z:
I didn't realize that clubs do not allow it. Which club is this that is so picky?
 
Q:
what causes body odor?
Z:
I'm not a doctor but I believe it's mostly bacteria.

Q:
and why is it that no club will put up with it?
Z:
I wasn't aware that clubs had rules about body odor.  It must be somethin' really strong that makes your eyes water.

Q:
and why is it that whenever I go for more than a day without a shower I have body odor?
Z:
Okay, now I'm getting the feeling that we're not talking about a "friend" who has body odor and got fired from a club.  To answer your question, and again, not a doctor... because more bacteria is forming on your body and is spreading.
 
Q:
and why is it that a person that has body odor doesnt smell it themselves?
Z:
Sometimes the person gets used to the smell and becomes "immune" to it if they have the odor too long or too often.  I guess it's sort of like your own fart.  It just doesn't bother you after the 3 millionth time.
 
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Bouncer for hire

Fri 4/18/2003 1:33 PM

Q:
what is the requirements to work for a bouncer, like do you have to be tall and very heavy to work in one of them? my status : i weight 170 lbs, 5"8 ,and somewhat muscular and i have no experience in security and bouncer, i just wanted to know if i do pass for this type of job
Z:
Unlike the LAPD, there are no specific requirements at all clubs in Los Angeles. Each club has different hiring practices. Some clubs tend to hire muscular or tall bouncers (e.g. Fritz), while others don't seem to care and hire bouncers that look like even a girl could kick his ass. Some clubs have in-house bouncers that they hire themselves, while other clubs have an outside security company that hires them and the club has nothing to do with the hiring of bouncers or security. Some clubs have bonded security that are armed, others do not.

What's more consistent is you have to know how to handle problems and "situations" correctly, quickly, and properly. The correct procedure depends on the actual situation. For the most part, the club does not want problems that will cause bad publicity or require the police to be called.

However, if a situation escalates, they would rather have a little bad publicity than a huge one (e.g. somebody getting hurt or killed). Most clubs hire experienced bouncers while some others train in-house.

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Do I have a shot?

Wed 4/16/2003 3:30 AM

Q:
To keep it short and simple, I went to a club recently and got some unusual attention from one of the dancers, I would like to know if i should persue this!!! I'll explain the situation and circumstances....

Me and a business associate went to this club. Before ordering our drinks we were immediately approached by a dancer, she started by conversating with both of us... eventually focusing the conversation on me personally. She left to go to the cashier or something. My friend went to the restroom, within 20 secs she came back and was sitting next to me, alot more comfortable this time, continuing the conversation.

When it was her turn to dance we went to the stage. There was a total of 4 people at the stage including me. The entire dance, (both songs) she was focused on me exclusively (eye contact almost the whole time) practically ignoring the other paying customers (I wasn't tipping more than the others either) After the dance we went back to our original seats, after about 2 minutes, she was back sitting next to me talking. She eventually introduced her best friend to my friend. I bought her a tot! al of 3 drinks and gave her a $10 tip on stage....

we had an hour and a half conversation (pretty personal). After she made a trip to the restroom, she came back and asked if me and my friend were staying long, I informed her I was staying a little longer, she then said she was getting ready to end her shift and leave. Why would she ask if I was staying, when she was about to leave anyway? Is it me or did I have an opportunity to ask her out after we leave? We talked about lots of things, she asked if my girlfriend knew I go to stripclubs, I informed her that I dont have a girlfriend. It was wierd, she never asked if wanted a dance. Do you think I have something to work with here? or was she simply a good hustler talking to me so she can meet her drink requirement?

If there is anything that is unclear or if you need more details, please ask... I'm going back this week to possibly persue this young la! dy (by the way, she's 21, younger than me, does this help?) it all depends, I don't want to persue her if she's just doing her job !!! I've been with two other dancers and it was so obvious I didnt have any doubts, perhaps this one's different? If you could just give me your honest opinion on this and possibly what I can do to, I would appreciate it!!!
Z:
The easiest way to tell what is really going on is to ask her to meet you outside the club. If she says she needs to get to know you a little more first, go visit her but do not spend one cent on her. If she really likes you, she will not let you buy drinks. If she will not see you outside the club, you have your answer.

It's very easy to weed out the girls who really like you from the girls who want your money. Don't give them any money. Simple.

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Where do I belong?

Fri 4/4/2003 5:04 AM

 Q:
is there any place in this world for someone like me? or am i just living in the wrong place at the wrong time? or do i just need my own website?

i really like to dance... but i don't want any body contact with anyone

i was an art major so i love thinking up inventive costumes that are  really unusual

the kind of music i really like is anything from india. now they have  rave music mixed with indian music that is really good to dance to

whenever i try to go somewhere and dance to indian music [and i have been to australia, brazil, hawaii, florida, calif in pursuit of this] only the brazilian people really liked me [all of them] and didn't judge me and didn't think i'm a big weirdo cuz they are very into dancing also

next the australians were okay, just a few were stuck up

but in the USA and in hawaii where i live, of the people who like indian music half the people like me and half the people hate me. [in calif and florida they were even more disdainful]

the people who are adverse are any monks who are still half crazed with lust who maybe shouldn't be monks, lusty lonely horny ugly old religious fanatics, and ugly housewives with lecherous horny lusty old husbands hate my style

mostly everybody else thinks i am awesome and amazing and call me "the dancing queen" and "head of all the dancers" [ to indian music]

in other words, everybody likes my dancing unless they are jealous or  it makes them too excited to watch me.

but i am not doing it for anyone, for show, i have no idea even how i look. it just feels really good. sometimes i have actually have had a type of feeling like a full body orgasm in every cell of my body just from dancing to indian music, esp the temple music

indians don't dance like this, just westerners. indians sit or stand demurely and clap sedately

that's why in calif or florida alot of young girls into indian music hate me also because they have been to india and they know that nice proper indians don't dance like i do

anyway can you think of anyplace where i can just dance for a living  [honolulu or LA] and not have to do any touching of men or the hustling of drinks part?

and i don't mean a hare krsna temple, they have board meetings about me that i am too sexy and too exciting for all of the men [and lesbians] and monks there

and even if they are a pretty nice monk, then they say my hair is too sexy.

i think if i lived in the right world i am supposed to be a temple dancer, but they don't allow that anymore in india. i probably was in a past life.

i have some other ideas also like to have my own website but i don't quite know how to do that...yet anyway. then people could see me but they don't have to touch me. it would be a form of safe sex for indian men [india has a very high AIDS rate and they only can show wet saris in the rain --like the wet tee shirt contest or mud wrestling look!--and no kissing in the films]

any ideas let me know! [besides reincarnation]
Z:
Thank you for your very interesting email. I've noticed similar music prejudices at many clubs. There are "rock & roll" clubs that have customers (and often owners/managers) that do not like rap or hip-hop. Conversely, there are hip-hop clubs where most of the customers do not enjoy hearing rock or even pop. I think it just comes down to the fact that a lot of people are close minded and only like what they are used to.

Personally, I think it's a good idea to play music that is different from the other dancers in order to stand out of the crowd. If everybody is playing rock, play hip-hop. If everybody is playing hip-hop, play Marilyn Manson. It's good to be noticed.

In your letter, it's not clear if what you mean is that people do not like your music and therefore, do not tip you. I assume that's the only way that you know that they are "hating" on you. Because if dancers (and some customers) are "hating" on you, but you are still making money, just ignore them. I assume you are dancing for the money and not purely for pleasure. If you are dancing for pleasure, then just ignore everyone hating on you and just enjoy yourself.

If you are there to make money, then you have to take the customers tastes into consideration. That doesn't mean that you should only play one kind of music. You can mix it up, but be smart about it. For example, if you are at a club where most of the customers are older guys, you probably shouldn't only play loud rock & roll. You might try some classic rock or more mellow music. It's just smart business. That doesn't mean you can't play your favorite Indian music sometimes. Just not all the time.

As for where to work where you don't have to interact with customers, I think you might be right that you may want to just do webcam dancing on a website.  In the golden era of strip clubs, you could get away with just stage dancing far away from customers, but these days, it's more touchy feely.

I dunno.  Reincarnation is starting to sound better and better.  I'd like to try that myself.

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Lord, Give me the pain

Tue 3/25/2003 1:59 AM

Q:
Hi I just read your page and I feel as if you can help me on a descision of the heart.

I want to start a relationship with this woman and we have both been hurt in the same ways from first love and everything untill now. And I am worried that we will start one and I not know how to comfort her in any way or show her how I feel about her.

We agreed to take it slow but when I spent the night at her house she woke up that morning and she was so sick for the past week and day before we had to take her to the emergency room and I stayied by her side untill they told me to leave.

I was so worried I chain smoked her whole pack but one because I felt so helpless I could do nothing to ease her we she needed me and I cried for the first time since my father died when I was younger. Then I prayied for the lord to give me her pain just to take it away from her. The next time I saw her she had a IV in her hand and a gown on laying down on the hospital bed I was so teriffied but I did not show it because I thougt she would think I was weak.

So please give me some adivce I need help I don't know what to do and I think about her all the time and I feel so lonely when I am not around. I know that this is the first time I have wrote you and Ihave come to you with my problems but please help me I need some advice. Here is a poem I have not let her read yet. Maybe you can help please.
Z:
I'm not sure how this has to do with strip clubs unless the woman that you speak of is a stripper. I'm not sure I understand the real problem. Other than you worrying that you might be hurt, you are obviously infatuated with her. Although, generally speaking infatuations are not healthy, there is nothing wrong with you wanting to be with her as long as you don't start freaking her out with your actions. I'd suggest you take a break from her and let her have a little space before she gets tired of you. Nobody wants a lap dog for a boyfriend. It's okay to be constantly thinking about her. Just don't let her know it.  Visit her in the hospital but not too often.

Hopefully, by the time you read this, she is well and your prayers have been answered by the Lord, or not.

Good luck and don't start stalking her. Most states have laws against that now.

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Where dem booty-ful black girls at?

Fri 3/7/2003 4:23 AM

Q:
why don't you ever feature black dancers??
Z:
A lot of people think I have a long list of candidates for Dancer of the Month.  Actually, it's hard to find dancers who don't mind their pictures plastered all over the Internet.

But to answer your question, I've been asked this before and I just took a quick look and you're right that the last time I had a black dancer of the month was in 1998, and I haven't had an Asian dancer of the month since 1997.

Frankly, I do not go out and look for dancer of the month candidates. This is because I am anonymous and it's impossible to recruit a dancer without revealing my identity. 95% of the dancers have contacted me or are personal friends of mine. I am currently in contact with a dancer at the Century who is black and am hoping to have her as DOM in the near future. If you know of any dancers that might be interested, please have them email me with their pictures. Thank you.

[Editor's note: Since taking note of this letter, I've added DOMs Babygirl, Bridget, and Coco.  Also, more recently, the clubs that contact me often have a DOM that they would like to represent their club, so there's less opportunity for me to pick them now.  And yes, I realize the subject sounds racist.  It's a joke.  Get it?]
 
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Smooth kitty

Wed 1/29/2003 4:30 AM

Q:
I have a question that is kind of silly but when my boyfriend went to a strip club he said the girl was naked in a chair and spread her legs. He also said that her womanhood was (smooth). What does that mean? I am 38 and have had 2 children, divorced. Does he mean what I think he does? Please be frank in your answer cuz it's buggin me. Oh, and he doesn't mean shaved cuz he said she had (hair). 
Z:
As far as I know, "smooth" referring to a woman's privates usually means that she is completely shaved. Therefore, I have no idea what he was talking about. You might try asking him

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Should I worry about busts?

Fri 1/3/2003 5:34 AM

Q:
Being a newbie and having read some club busts on customers (TL, var. Anaheim clubs, your friend, etc.), I'm wondering is the chance of 'vice' showing up higher on weekend evenings than say a weekday mid-afternoon?

I'd imagine they'd want blend in with the crowd on a busy night to avoid suspiction. I'm a day customer and would like to have peace of mind.

Also, are you aware of any busts at Ecstacy in the past? I'd like to visit in the  next few days. Thanks!
Z:
The odds are the lowest on Sundays and Mondays. The odds are highest on Wednesdays through Saturdays (mostly night). Thursdays (especially night) seems to be especially good for busts. However, that does not mean busts cannot happen on the low odds days. I am basing these on talking to vice cops and personal experience.

Although they often come on busy nights to blend in, I have personally witnessed a bust at a club when it was dead, with only a hand full of customers. My friend got busted that night along with 2 dancers. I cannot remember what day of the week it was, but I think it was either Tuesday or Wednesday but I am not positive.

If I had to choose, I would pick the day shift over night shift. However, Ecstacy has not only been busted at least 2 times that I am aware of, I think they were both during the day shift. This is very rare. I think it was because the mileage was off the charts during the day shift. However, the customers did NOT get busted at Ecstasy as far as I know.

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