|Sometimes Z Bone readers just want to flame me or tell me
something without asking me anything. Others want to expunge their guilt by
confessing to Z.
There is no claim by me that any of these e-mails relate to reality. The more interesting or thought provoking ones will be posted right here. Obvious shills will not, unless it's downright hilarious.
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Date: Wed 12/26/01 2:42 AM
Time to update your website,
Michael Woods found guilty today at 4:30 pm of 1st. Degree Murder and
Guity of Murder for financial gain.
I found out about your website through a producer from Court TV, David Barry
by the way great web site!
Needless to say there are two more, David Amos and John Sheridan, but they will go quickly, like I said yesterday at court, 1 down and two to go, and this game will be over.
Attached is a couple photos of me and my dad, one from 1984 when I was getting taller than him and one from 1989 about a month before the murder.
I hope this helps to confirm who I am.
Dear Z, I am so dissapointed with the latest reviews for Spearmint Rhino Industry! You know, I always give people a great time at work, and personally to me that means conversation and great lap dances that are sensual, mileage friendly, and fun. I am never a "wannadance" kind of a girl. However, it seems that many of the other girls at the club ARE and it is giving us the reputation of a pretty club with bitchy dancers.
Let me just say now that I am not the kind of girl who will seductively whisper in your ear and tell you all the nasty things I will do to you if you buy a dance. I have gone that route and it DOESN"T work for me, no matter how many times I practice in the mirror. My way is to sit with people and talk and be sexy but playful. And that does work, really well.If more girls would say hello and sit down for a few minutes, not only would they make killer money Z, but our club wouldn't have such icky reviews. (I will admit that they are hiring anyone who comes in off the street now, or so it seems. The reviewers are right about the quality of women having gone down, which seems a shame.) It seems that only a few dancers understand that.
While sitting in the dressing room with some of the girls the other night, a few mentioned how horrible they were doing and that the night sucked, etc. They said nobody would buy any dances from them. So I suggested to them that they may do better if they sat down and talked to some of these men, which is generally the way I operate. I said 5 minutes is my limit but in that time most men will have warmed up enough to you to get a dance (or 7 or 8). Z, I said this and the girls looked at me as if I had grown another head. "Sit down with them?" one chick asks me incredulously. They just DON"T want to do it, and as a result customers think they are rude or stuck up, or just plain bitches if they are particularly grumpy that night.
Anyway, I just needed to rant and rave for a minute. Many dancers at my club are not rude or mean and do give fabulous dances, but I guess there just aren't enough since so many people are leaving with a sour taste in their mouth. I have so much fun at work and I want customers to have just as awesome a time, which is why I'm sad that they aren't. Love,
I wanted to let you and your readers know about a scam going on over at the Spearmint Rhino in Van Nuys. I went to their VIP room, where it's a 3 dance minimum, at $120. The dancer wasn't all that great, so I said thank you after the third dance. When I finished, the dancer and floor man said I owed $200! I've been going to strip clubs for years and years and I definitely know how to count the number of songs! That night, I noticed a lot of guys at the ATM's and at the front counter, where you can get money off of your credit card, with their dancer standing next to them--usually a sign that the guy didn't have enough money. Can you please put the question out there to your web site visitors, to find out if others have had this problem there? If it is a scam, please warn everyone not to go there. I hate getting ripped-off, as I'm sure other guys do, too. Thanks.
Dude, I like your site a lot, very informative but you have to update your info. I'm sure that you're probably a busy working man and that this is a side project but Christ, your Top 5 Clubs listing goes back to 1997! I'm sure some of the people who hit your site care about the quality of a "Strip Joint" 4 years ago, but my guess is that people want to know what is hot now! Also, chances are good that some of the girls who graced the stages in 1997 have either retired or are six feet under from their unfortunate crack addiction. I really think your site has potential, it is quite funny. I've been to almost every joint in SoCal and many in Vegas and hands down, the best place is Tropical Lei. I located this gem in the sports section back in 1992 as a freshman in college and the place was unbelievable! The girls were so attractive, it doesn't even compare to what the club has to offer today. I'm talking about 9's and 10's... and I'm the pickiest prick out there! Today, Tropical Lei resembles a third world country, with girls who look like the desert dwelling African women on the cover of National Geographics. Every once in a while, you'll get a classic white trash chick from Bonita High School down the street that will blow your mind. I still like to stop in the place once in a while. 80% of the girls there need to hang up their G strings and retire, 15% need to be beaten for even thinking about stripping, 3% are average, and 2% are good. Their dances are filthy and worth every bit of that $20! Isn't it amazing what a girl will do for twenty, one dollar bills! Delete some of your reviews, and post some new info. Take care! Chad.
Z, I sent the following to Alysabeth; on her site she asks to hear from committed male strip fans on "Why."
I'm a sexual creature like everyone else I know. My sexuality is only a part of my being, but central, and I acknowlege that. It's not cool for guys to say that: it means we're not "gentlemen" in today's (and especailly yesterday's) American society. Still, I love and accept all I am. And find an important expression in today's stripclub atmosphere, where my fantasies complete parts of my psyche. Fantasy is the key word-- it's what makes the club and your profession so amazing. What a surprising, exciting, and previleged phenomanon it is when one understands the truth beneath the strip-club, "sex-club" (for that is how their owners promote them...) hoopla. Hey, it's just business! That simple. You're professionals creating opportunities for us, a largely male audience. You communicate with sexual languages. I respond by offering money. You provide more "detailed" descriptions. I offer more money. I enjoy. You make money. We're both happy. No harm, no fowl. Some of you are fucked up, but some people are fucked up in all professions. God help 'em to find other work, fast. But for the rest of you-- and especially the best of you-- God bless ya'. Because I sometimes find a marvelous rush monogamous males in my position aren't supposed to be getting. It's that incredible endorphin buzz of infatuation-- a pure life force kick. I think all guys, dogs that we are, are driven to seek strange poon. But that drive can create so much crap in our lives. To wit: Condit and Clinton. And a lot of tragedy for women who are their objects. Not every dancer can provide that level of experience. Oh, on any given night maybe half the dancers in a club could get me off, but there's usually not a chick on the schedule who can truly connect. Only the best ones, the most professional, the most together chicks understand fully their feminin power. To share that with a customer is a gift that keeps on giving. I can remember some strippers as perfectly as I remember old girlfriends, and those are fond memories indeed. The quest for that keeps me going back. Again, the cool thing is that it's just a fantasy. I have a lot of respect for a woman who is that professional, that giving, that together. What's that kind of experience worth? A lot more than a couple hours in most clubs cost us, if we're smart about it. And thank God that America isn't so totally fucked up that the clubs can't opperate.
I've been into the club circuit as a customer since 1990. Until this past 6 months I have never felt ripped off and have decided to end this ocassional hobby at least at (2) major chains. The service has gotten worse and worse (less for your money) IMHO over the years and my decision is based on these based on (2) recent incidents I experienced.
1. Spearmint Rhino, Oxnard May 2001. Been here maybe 10 times in 10 years. I was appalled at the 1-2 minute song lengths. The greedy club owners have gradually cut songs shorter and shorter I've noticed over the years. This visit epitomized the greed factor to me- where I had (3) dances in 3 minutes. The very nice dancer I was with agreed with me and encouraged me to complain about it. She said song lengths are so short anymore. I left immediately and told the management to kiss my ass and that was the last time at Spearmint Rhino. Of course they just gave me a blank stare and could care less.
2. Deja Vu, NH July 2001. 20 times in 10 years this location. Not since August 2000 though. Very surprised at the couch rental "tickets" policy. Prior to getting a lap asked the manager about song length- he said they were long songs- yea sure I said to myself. I said were they as short as Rhino? He replied that not to EVER compare them to Rhino. In addition, the DJ previously announced (2) for one. The posters on the wall said (3) for (2) day was Thurs. I asked and they said no to both questions!!! No 2 for 1's in the fantasy rooms- only the main booths. I went into the fantasy room anyway. The Dancer was a real bitch unfortunately- the worst attitude I can recall (I have always enjoyed the 500+ dances I have had). So the whole experience lasted about 4 minutes for 3 songs and $60.00 later I have a shitty dance. No music in the fantasy rooms anymore either. I still could not believe how short it was. Then she asked for a tip. I said no- she had an attitude- she proceeded to yell at me and tell me to leave the club!! I could not believe it. Then I read on your website tonight that the club I guess keeps the whole $20.00- so what a scam this is. Short songs, more money, etc.
Conclusion IMHO is that both clubs have turned into "Clip joints" of old. I imagine most all the clubs suffer from this same rip-off mentality. I have always like the Tropical Lei- but they also cut songs so short anymore (last visit Nov 2000- exceptionally high mileage but short songs) this whole activity seems less than what I am interested in paying for anymore. $20.00 for 3 minutes I can deal with. $20.00 for 1-2 minutes just sucks.
All good things never last I guess. The days of 1990-1995 are gone forever. I enjoyed TL, DV Upland back then before all the clubs came closer to home in L.A. It was different then.
Keep up all your good work on the website, I have been reading it for a number of years now. Please don't publish my email address if you use this for anything...
Any input about your opinion on this is welcomed. I can't believe I am the only one complaining and disappointed- newcomers of course don't know any better.
I was at my usual favorite place and ran into a new dancer. I purchased a bunch of dances from her. It was Sunday and very slow, so we talked. when I started to leave she said "I want to marry you." Okay, okay...I know it is a place of business, but damn, that was a great calling card....
Please pass this on to Larry [Flynt]- if you like it.
Hey Larry, how you doing, motherfucker? All I ever want to be called is Larry Frank. I have a few dedicated people behind me now; TV Minister Stars like Ken Copeland - who might be willing to shrug and say, "We're Learning on camera, go motherf go"; Dr. Charles Stanley, who might be willing to say,"Oh not again."; I want Rhu Paul in there, he'll come; and I want you and I on a panel being questioned by two black guys - one of them has to be the black dude from the Beverly Hill Cops; my contention is that black people know how to live; you and I have all the same arguments on porn; it has to be ad libbed - no one knows the questions in advance, and you, as frankness itself; Me too, can have a ball with this; Rod Parsley - who Might be willing to say, "Oh Fuck - I'm from Ohio, too, everybody, enjoy the show"; these stars and you and I will turn a page. Some of these ministers - either someone at the FCC is threatening to pull TBN's licenses if they use good old me and what I've got to say; Batman said "Wait till they get a load of me," and last week I yelled at them - tell them all to look up Jesus' condition for Mercy in the Tarot for Justice, to know what to do; you might give Pat Robertson a good scandal somehow - he has never seen anything like it but can't commit - just ask him if he ever masturbated; Most of these dudes felt bad after I drubbed them last week; tell them to buy their way out; and give Dr.Robert Schuller an opportunity to say, "God loves you and so do I." And then walking away shaking his head Rep. John Conyers makes a good slave, he might be the Biblical Joshua or his brother, so tell him to do whatever you tell him - he might not like it, I'll bet it would help if you asked him to respond to the attached letter. Remember to tell him I'm sort of really pissed at Congress, and would he comment on that? Most of these guys think I might be Jesus, and King David to boot. I'm just stumbling through life's journey meeting Biblical Milestone after milestone. Doing a bang up job. Rev. E. V. Hill might give a skeptic's opinion of me, or maybe a nice one. He keeps saying that Jesus has met every prophesy in the Bible. I wrote a book called the Tree of Life, which explains why I might qualify for either to him - tell him to tell you the story. Maybe he would like be the other questioner. Ask him if he would like to quarrel with me on camera about queers. Ask him if he knows where feelings come from. Its a spiritual question, tell him to tell you who sold him the idea that feelings were the stuff of the Spirit of God! I'm at a halt in my conquest of the earth; no one will talk to me; I'm being politely ignored by all of my ministers, the press, all branches of the Fed, including the SEC - a big story of a screwing; we could make hay for 6 months. For thirty years I've been trying to get a job. All I got out of maybe 150 resume sendouts, was a single call from a girl at Travelers Insurance asking me what I was doing for the last 3 years, and never heard from her again.
Same with the book Tree of Life, samples of which were sent to all kinds of publishers, and no one replied. People have yet to respond to over 100 letters to the government; and another 100 to the press, always about Justice or common sense; all with 100's of times more substance than the big blow job - the media mafia and morals and Justice are used only to hurt people. I know what America's 3 basic legal principles are, (1) If the judge likes you anything can happen, (2) Guess what it takes to get the Judge to like you, and (3) if you are looking for Justice, go to step 2. They don't let engineers in Law School because "they cause a lot of disruption in class, and have trouble fathoming our basic legal principles." I wondered for years what was so difficult about a legal principle, and why engineers were disruptive. It turns out that no one with a good record at solving problems is let into law school. They can't solve problems. Everyone in government is a lawyers. Engineers have a service people want and are willing to pay for; lawyers don't. I'm sending you my credentials in Word Attachments - excerpts from the Tree of Life. The letter below was sent to a lot of people; it was sent but not responded to. If I'm Jesus, I'm up against something big Flynt. I'm sending some attachments that give you a bit about the morality of porn.
[Editor's Note: HUH!?]
Generally agree with your club comments but I disagree on Jumbo's-it's one of my fav places anywhere. Not for the erotic content or anything as much as it represents such a great, goofy neighborhood kind of vibe. It also is frankly a place where less than great gals can get treated as if they were queens.
I always tell folks that Jumbo's is the first and last place a dancer works.
I stumbled on your site because I couldn't think of the name of Mr. J's Restaurant and you helped a lot. So I surfed around a while and came to your review of Wild Goose, supposedly from last summer. I have to not only tell you that the place is constantly changing, kind of like Winchester House up north: they keep building, but you may want to revisit there. First off, the days of no cover are numbered. There is a major change in front. They shifted the DJ booth over and it's like a command center now, complete with a window for taking admission charge. Probably will make that obnoxious black harpie who pretends to be a DJ feel even more powerful. She already thinks she's the general manager.
What prompted this email is your review dated last summer mentioning three girls. Stayce left I think in 97 sometime, 98 at the latest and went back to raising her litter, "Carolyn" has only one connection to the place and that is she photographs the calendar, hasn't danced for years, and the one you're calling "Courtney" also took her completely untrained, undisciplined, huge dog and went back to Michigan a couple of years ago as well. Actually, the dog was starting to come around when I was living there and spent a lot of time with it and worked with it and took it to to the bark park regularly, but once "Courtney" and I exploded, the dog went back to being just big and obnoxious. Come to think of it, she did too. Got to be quite a chunk before she left. I still think to this day that a large part of the reason she and I terminated any contact was that the dog listened to me and wouldn't do one thing for her. But that's water under the bridge. My point here is you are mentioning girls who haven't been in the place in years while claiming the date of summer 2000 for your review.
As for the drink prices, they have gone up again. As for the food, it's the same, the prices keep creeping up, you just have to know when to get it. Once a month they serve the best ham you ever had, once a month they serve pork loin that is excellent, and there are a couple of other things they do quite well, too. As for the girls, it's still a crapshoot. Anything that is allowed in a ladies' room can work there. There have been at least two sex changes that have worked there over the years that I can name. There are days when you can go in there and there are literally more dancers than customers. This is because many are not "on the schedule" and can traipse in there any time they want for as long as they want. Some of them are lookers and some of them can make a freight train take a dirt road. I wandered over there for a while today, Sunday. Empty, but there is this young Swedish natural blonde there who would knock your eyes out, never saw her before. Why she's dancing in front of a dozen guys watching baseball I don't understand. Never saw her before. She's really, really nice. Sat at my table and hung out with me and the waitress. (Told you it was slow.) When the only waitress is hanging out at a booth with a customer while the owner is there and has her legs up, it's slow. It's also Fathers' Day.
Anyway, you might want to make another visit before they activate that admissions window and give it another shot. Truth be told, the cover charge is not all bad an idea. The weekend crowd coming in nights has deteriorated in the last few years. Bunch of gang types, crack music blasting from cars in the parking lot, fights, drugs, etc. Maybe a cover will turn a few of them away when they find out it will cost them to come in there, buy one pitcher, and sit on it for two hours, after stiffing the waitress.
I went to Club Starlight for the first time 2 weeks ago after going to Club Fantasy, Sugerhoney and VIP a few times before.
May I say Club Starlight really inflates their time in and outs. Somehow I paid 50% more for the same hour and drinks compared to Starlight.
Just my 2 cents.
I'm not the type to kiss anyones behind, I do however want to thank you for making a very good and comprehensive site abot strip clubs in L.A.. Most often when I want to find general info on location quality or facilities I don't get that. With your web site I get precisely what I need, that is some general info on clubs and a rating system that does influence my choice of club. Also I get a very good idea of what to expect in a club. Keep up the good work.
I think you dropped the ball in your response to the guy who didn't know what to say to dancers (in the "Ask Z Bone" section, under "What to say?"). You suggested he go to a topless or bikini club with other people and try it that way. I've only been to nude clubs, but I've noticed that dancers usually don't stay long at a table with a bunch of customers, maybe because they sometimes act obnoxiously, just to amuse each other. If doesn't know what to say to begin with, his friends may end up taking over the conversation anyway, and he's no better off. Plus, what if he prefers to go by himself, as I do? Much better advice, it seems to me, would be to get a regular. It is so much easier to talk to someone you know, and more interesting too. As you pointed out, some dancers will not sit and talk no matter what, but most will if they know they will be getting dances, and some will even want to talk to him, or at least pretend to. When I think of the meaningful talking I've had with my regular, compared with the superficial chatter I get from dancers I don't know, it seems like the best way. Also, my birthday is this month, and I want to see if I can get into 4 Play for free. Last year, I called, and the girl on the phone said no. If it wasn't on Saturday ($15 cover), I probably wouldn't even bother. I won't be bringing a big group, but since August of '99, I've been there about 40 times and spent just under $7,000 (seriously). I think it would be nice to get SOMETHING for free. What's the best way?
I, too, remember the EyeFull and the surprisingly eager dancers in there, when the phenom was new to SoCal. But I also remember that between the chair dances in dives like the Sandbox in Whittier, and the Hat in El Monte, that an "upscale" evolution happended in Dallas clubs: Texas Couch Dancing of the mid-80s. Not much different from the [Tropical Lei] experience at its best and as close to a handjob as you could get. The ABC cracked down in the 80s and without liquor to hold it back anymore, that influence seemed to sweep right into SoCal's remodeled, alcohol-free clubs in the 90s. Personally, I like it... I could drive home relaxed AND sober.
How about listing Hostess Dance Clubs on your site? I know you consider them to be a different animal from Strip Clubs, but they're very similar. If you don't want to rate such clubs yourself, make a place on your website where readers can write reviews. I think the Hostess Clubs in the City of Industry are of particular interest.
Keep up the good work.
I've been a regular nude clubber for about 30 years now. I've just read some of the stuff on your site. I use to make a lot of money and I had a great time spending it at the clubs for years and years. You must be freaking millionaire. All I gotta say is, "you're good, very good". Thanks for keeping everyone informed, entertained and connected.
The other day i went to Bare Elegance thinking that monday night must be the night since i went there a couple of times and wasn't too impressed. well the staff that was working should have stayed home. i have never seen so many susarian scares and bad boob jobs in one place at the same time. you have got to review your review. perhaps they were good then but now its looking mighty shakey.
Although it's been many years since I have actually lived in Hollywood, I go there often enough to know what's what. If you really want to help the people who visit your site, you should preface a lot of your reviews with something along the lines of "This particular club is in Hollywood and for an enormous pussy like me, that can only spell trouble. If you have a working pair of testicles, however, you should have no problem." Granted, Jumbo's is smack-dab in the center of Hell but even old ladies aren't afraid to walk the streets of Los Feliz (Cheetah's)! Maybe you should stick to covering clubs in the Valley, at least until you can find a nice Krav Maga class to join.
Seriously you need a life.
Your site is full of insight and news worthy of printing although I must say the one regarding this particular woman is unworthy and absurd. She is a stunning brunette(not blonde) who I as a customer respect and admire. For you to continue to keep this on your site not only makes your site look foolish but also can bring on a lawsuit. remove it if you have any integrity.
This is a great website with the exception of the comments written about Sibel. who is a sweet and beautiful girl, Remove it or have a lawsiut.
You are going to be in for a major lawsuit if you do not delete the Star Garden review for October 14, 2000
We promise you that. Defamation of Character and false statements made. If you want to e-mail me please do so at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Hi there to all zbone reviewers,
My name is Rachael and I have been a dancer here at [Spearmint Rhino, Rialto] for 8 months. For quite some time I have read reviews about ripoff girls and pushy waitresses. Let me ask you a question, why do you think it is that girls treat you like crap and the waitresses would rather flip you off than serve you? Could it possibly be that you come in with an attitude? Next time you come visit me at my club, try wearing a smile and actually acting like you are having fun. You wouldn't believe how far it will go.
I am in no way supporting the girls who do try to take you for everything, I am aware that it does happen. And yes on occasion there may be a waitress in a bad mood. But step back for just one moment and put yourself in our shoes. Day in and day out I have men trying to stick their fingers in places where they don't belong and certainly don't have permission to go. I have men who grab ahold of me and squeeze me so tight that 4 days later I am still sporting their fingerprint bruises. Please, treat us like the ladies we are and not a piece of dough. In return, I would be more than happy to treat you like a gentleman and not just another grabby jerk.
In short, most of the men I come in contact with are true gentlemen. This is simply aimed at those who could a little advice. IF this offends you, mabey you are the one who needs the advice.