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Letters to Z Bone
BobSometimes Z Bone readers just want to flame me or tell me something without asking me anything. Others want to expunge their guilt by confessing to Z.

There is no claim by me that any of these e-mails relate to reality. The more interesting or thought provoking ones will be posted right here. Obvious shills will not, unless it's downright hilarious.

Submissions may be edited or shortened at Z Bone's discretion or lack thereof. If you do not want your name shown, please specify so in your e-mail.
 

Date: Fri 10/18/02 8:42 PM
From: Dan Delehant
Subject: Ancient Topless Days

Z Bone- Caught your page and it brought back some good memories. I deeply mourn the passing of the 70s/80s sleazy Southern Californoia topless dens of din. I made the rounds regularly back then. Saw a lot of entertaining stuff. Once, in a dive called the Villa in Ontario I was sitting right behind the stage when some idiot called a dancer who was performing right in front of him, "fat." She grabbed his half-full glass pitcher of beer and broke it over his head! Beer and glass went everywhere and he hit the floor with a semi-serious head wound. The dancer stepped back and cussed the guy out like crazy. The bouncer, a big fat guy, came over and helped the guy up, put a filthy beer-soaked towel against the idiot's head and promptly told him he was 86ed. The injured guy's friends and he left with the bloody towel still against his head and all the while the dancer was screaming at him. The odd thing about it was she wasn't even fat.

Another time in a topless place on Long Beach Blvd. near Firestone, I overheard a big dumb-looking Texan/cowboy looking guy ask one of the dancers to pour a full picture of beer over his head. She balked at first but he gave her a tip and he took off his cowboy hat and she went ahead and poured an entire picture of beer slowly over his balding head! As the beer ran down his face and all down him he giggled like some kind of fool and then put his hat back on and soaking wet in beer sat back down and said to no one in particular since he was by himself, "There - now I can get down to some serious drinking."

Those were great days Z Bone - nothing but flirting and fantasizing and getting slowly drunk as hell. Plus it is always reassuring to see with your own eyes that there actually are people more fucked up than yourself. You know what, horny as I was back then, more than once I broke a date to just go sit in a stupid topless bar and get drunk. Can't do those places anymore though - soon as you see that you are the oldest guy in one of those places it's time to hang it up. Once a few years ago - ah - that's enough -you get the idea.
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Date: Sat 7/13/02 7:32 AM
From: aci
Subject: Old Reviews

Great concept but the info is not timely enough. I checked out a club in a part of town I expect to be staying in and read that the "last visit" was in the "mid '80s." You gotta be kidding! That's like 20 years ago. Even the reviews that date back six years are far too old. Useless. Either update the site or take it down. If you do update it, suggest you include a category for "nasty" lap dances, the kind that those of us in SF are used to.
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Date: Wed 7/10/02 2:02 PM
From: Joan Emery
Subject: Chupa

What a pleasant surprise!!

A goyisha friend called thinking I would be able to translate "chupa" for her; and although I know what it is and have been to weddings,  including my son's first, I went to my trusted "GOOGLE" and found your YIDDISH GLOSSARY!

It;s pretty cute; although there are a few references that I don't connect with... Is lap-dancing the latest excitement thing...???  What is the age-range of those that attend?   The only lap-dancing I have seen is on HBO or one of the other late night TV exposees..

Joan Emery

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Date: Thu 6/27/02 5:38 AM
From: Margaret
Subject: Sweetee -Brenda's opinion

I started working at Exotica last year. I love the girls there, the staff, and it's easy to make money there. I've worked at Flesh and SSR so trust me the same people work at all these clubs. Regardless if you got what you wanted or not from a dancer don't down talk certain girls just because they weren't your type or they have different moral values than others and wouldn't give you a BJ, and when you talk bad about one club you basically talk bad about them all, you can ask any dancer, we've all worked more places then Exotica so quit hating on them let them make there money, and in this case there making your money!

Special whats up to; Devin, Alana, Marilyn, Tori, Sasha, Magical, Monay, And everyone else I forgot. Congrats to Marilyn on dancer of the month. All my girls at Flesh; Kisses, Serrena, Jasmine, Denise, Francine, MaryJane, Ariel, Vanity, Paris, Dorian, Justice, Madison, and everyone I forgot, I'll be back!!! Much LOVE 5000!!!

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Date: Fri 6/14/02 7:50 AM
From: lowdown
Subject: SRI experience

Though I only post infrequently, I read your site often and wanted to tell you of an experience I had a couple of weeks ago at SRI. I went to see a specific dancer I'd seen on stage and had wanted to get a lap dance from for some time. I asked for her by name. When she came out from the dressing room, she seemed stand-offish. She quizzed me about who else I got dances from there, and didn't believe me when I told her.

We ended up getting a dance and gradually she warmed to me. After the dance, we talked for a while. Turned out, she's suspicious of anyone who asks for her by name. She's afraid they're LE, who got her name off the internet and come in trolling to bust dancers. The last thing she said to me was, "Please, PLEASE don't post about me on the internet."

Of course, I won't. But the sad thing is that what used to be a free-wheeling community with a lot of good information (thanks to you) is now having to become secretive about the very things that brought eveyone together in the first place.

I bet she's not the only dancer who's scared. Boy, things sure have changed, huh? As far as I can tell, the only way to have anything like the old days is to invest the time and money to become a regular with a few select dancers who will then treat you well. To try a new dancer, you practically have to have a referral from some dancer they trust.

You know the scene way better than I do. Do you think this is just a temporary crack-down by LE or is it a long-term offensive?

lowdown

[Editor's note: IMO, the later.]

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Date: Sat 6/1/02 5:06 AM
From: BillW65772@aol.com
Subject: Favoritism

Been going to strip clubs in the Southland [Cherries in FULLERTON. CA.] and Las Vegas [Cheetah's IN LAS VEGAS, NEVADA] for 3 years now. In the last 4 months I've notice a change toward certain clients. Called Favoritism, certain guys (including me) would get ignored all night or girl approaching me until late at night. Usually these guys are treated like gold, they are usually Biker kids, certain males in some kind of group. I do recall about 9 months ago, these guys came in the club very violent hostile attitude toward the stripers and other guys, they use this attitude to get the strippers in control  and away from certain guys. I was told also they may pay these woman up front to stay away find info. on guys also. I've been to Cheetahs in Vegas and have seen guys sitting there and getting ignored for hours and becoming depressed, while other guys are getting extra attention. At one club I was getting ignored while several of these biker kids! where being asslative and abusive, after I told them off, one of the strippers bumped in to me and said fuck you. There heading down the road to less customers. PS they don't circulate anymore in clubs they stay with there favorites for hours sometimes
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Date: Sun 4/21/02 7:33 PM
From: Atlantic
Subject: Supreme Court ruling

April Fools!!

Stupid, I read your article on the Supreme Court decision on Strip Clubs. I actually thought that was real, I mean, it sounded real. And I told all my friends about that to. But a few days later it clicked in my head that I never heard about it anywhere else. I went to the website of the Supreme Court and could not find that case.

Im such an assu got me, it actually sounded believable!

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Date: Fri 4/19/02 1:56 AM
From: starzine@hotmail.com
Subject: re: jUMBOS.

I went to an audition [at Jumbo's]. The manager is Barbara, I think. She explained to me. That I would get paid minimum wage per hour and the tips are mine. I think a $5.00 bar fee, if I'm not correct. I never made my schedule, she was mad. Those girls get paid every 2 weeks, that's why they don't really care so much. I just thought you should know that I had to fill out a W-2 form. I never started work, so I never turned it in. On my audition,I did make$10.00, with only 4 guys there, and this was at 2:00p.m. auditions are every Mon or Wed at 2:00 p. m. I just thought you should know how they really get their money.
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Date: Mon 4/15/02 8:06 PM
From: Brian Morrison
Subject: jumbos clown room improves!

man that got a few hot girls dancing [at Jumbo's] now.. Was really blown away with how high quality the dancers are on a sunday night..
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Date: Wed 4/10/02 3:47 PM
From: cerahas1
Subject: wonder what prompted this

http://www.lacity.org/atty/attypress/hookerspa.pdf

you know, i am no fucken opinion leader, but there are fucken people out there who think that their god wants them to blow people up so that they can dance with virgins. maybe the cops should be patrolling those places and people. why are they cracking down on the industry?

I can only guess that the industry has become way way too powerful and prolific and also, i think the city of l.a. wants to teach the industry a lesson, especially with the alameda books case in front of the supreme court.

i think that the home moaners are trying to stop the MPs, but in van nuys there are really no home moaners, so it must be something driven by money that they cops are not getting.

i wonder if they dont bust some of the rattier strip clubs, but then again, they are all pretty fucken ratty.

i dont know if those busted for simply failing to have a license closed, but i was at one of them after that sting and it was open.

maybe hahn wants to show some law and order so that he looks good to the conservatives as he shoves parks out the door.

you prolly have a more historical standpoint and see it as a cycle thing. I just want the MPs to stay open

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Date: Sat 3/23/02 7:14 PM
From: DubleBlow7@aol.com
Subject: updating website

Hey,
I recently moved to LA and thought your website was the best. I have since changed my mind. Much of the info on the website seems to be highly outdated. You list the Jet Strip as the third best strip club in LA, and I liked the review so I decided to check it out. I went to the club excited about the "bondage room" which your website says they have, but when I talked to one of the dancers who had been there for a year, she said that she never even heard of the room. After checking your website again, I noticed that you haven't been to the club since October 1998!?!?! How can you rate clubs you haven't been to in almost 4 years?

Please update your website and make more of an effort to keep the info current.

Also, as someone from out of town, it would be nice to know which clubs serve alcohol and which don't. Maybe it's just me, but I like alcohol with my strippers. People in LA are probably aware of which clubs serve booze and which don't, but it would be great info for those of us coming in from out of town.

Thanks
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Date: Sun 3/3/02 11:10 AM
From: Aqaaron@aol.com
Subject: MUSICA, por favor: a coupla old tunes..

..some 'bold' young dancers might like to use sometime:

- Jimi Hendrix = "Bold As Love" ..(up to the part where the guitar solo starts ..about 2.30..)

- Doors = "Wishful Sinful" ..(DElicious lyrics..)

...pass it on ...(..and let me know where!)

;-}

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Date: Sun 2/24/02 5:10 PM
From: [Name withheld by request]
Subject: Disappointed with the Rhinos

I have just read the Jaclyn's review of the Blue Zebra. I am sure you already know Blue Zebra is owned by the Spearmint Rhino and I would like to say the dancers at the S.R are also royally ripped off when it comes time to payout. We are paying over 50% of our money at the end of the night! $7 a topless, $15 a nude, $1 a dance to the manager gratuity, $2 a dance for a nude gratuity, $1 a dance to the DJ, $1 a dance to the doormen, tip the waitresses, the bartender and a stage fee! Oh, and we buy are own drinks if we haven't been able to persuade the customers. You do the math! That is why we have the reputation of being the rip-off artists of strip clubs. And they wonder why retired dancers band together, get a lawyer and sue for all those years of being over charged. Gratuity should be a way of saying 'thank you for helping me,' but these people don't help, they are the rudest management and doormen I have ever come across. I have heard managers berate and ridicule dancers in front of fellow dancers, and there is one manager who likes to physically hit girls on the head with something if they are doing a lap dance he deems too risque. Am I crazy or is that a lawsuit waiting to happen? These people have no managerial skills, heck they do not even have 'people skills.' The problem is the greedier John Gray becomes, and the more clubs he has to open, then the more money he has to take from his employees to pay for everything. I have worked in the business for a few years and have gone through my share of clubs, unequivocally the Rhino treats their employees with the least respect. But they do not stop there, they also treat customers badly. This supposed 'Gentlemen's Club' likes to treat their customers as just big wallets. I have never heard doormen use 'thank you,' 'please,' they just herd them in, get their money as soon as possible and herd them out. In Van Nuys we are made to charge customers for talking to us! And if we do not get that money we will be charged at the end of the night. The Spearmint Rhinos should be called 'the fast food of strip clubs.' No wonder customers feel ripped off! It is too bad The Spearmint Rhinos are lead by this 'club of white middle aged men' who have no managerial skills and only basic disdain for anyone beneath them. Unfortunately they are probably only destined to become richer and richer, but their comeuppance will be certain one way or the other. I challenge Jaclyn to work at the Van Nuys Rhino and hear her honest opinion.
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Date: Sat 2/16/02 5:35 PM
From: Robert Brantz
Subject: Suggestion for Z at the Movies

I just watched the movie: "Center of the World" by Wayne Wang. A very interesting movie about the relationship between a strip club customer and his favorite dancer.
Both of them live in Seattle and he invites her for a weekend to Las Vegas. The movie is an interesting spin on the Pretty Woman theme, but much more serious. Wang must know the strip clubs scene very well. He uses Alisha Klass for the more hardcore dance scenes.
Alisha is doing a great job and I understand how most people are very impressed from her stage show.
She is also featured on the website: www.center-of-the-world.com which has a virtual strip club and an "interactive" chat with Alisha. The chat with Alisha Klass is interestingly structured and fully automated with responses from her depending on the words you type during the "chat". I enjoyed the movie and was impressed how far into Hollywood the world of our strip club obseesion has reached.
If you like I can write a detailed review of this movie.
Keep up the good work.
Rx
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Date: Fri 1/18/02 7:03 PM
From: Amanda
Subject: Starz

I am a dancer at Starz and often check out your website. I think the website is helpful, and insightful for both customers and dancers.  However, I rarely see my club, Starz, get recognized for the girls or even the club itself.  It is the only upscale predominately black club in the area.  At my club there are plenty of beautiful girls and most dance their asses off.  There is no walking around the stage and touching each other, it is actual exotic dancing.  I have been to many clubs and noticre most girls do not make what we make on stage.  And what about the fact that we are both topless and nude....a great combination.  I have been at Starz for about 2 years and have tried my share of amateur nights and am not impressed.....Might I also add I am one of the non-black girls in the club and have no trouble fitting in.  There are few girls to me that define EXOTIC in this industry, but at starz! or any club that has anything but mainly blonde girls with fake boobs it is easier to find an exotic dancer.
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Date: Thu 1/10/02 6:46 AM
From: Alon
Subject: A note to the fans.

Well hello there all you reviewers of the [Spearmint Rhino, Santa Barbara],

For starters I'm not going to lie to you, I am a dancer there and I guess I going have to give all you readers/writers, the real club scoop. This is a cute little club, kind of low class for what you would expect of sb, more like a hill-billy forest club, but cute non the less.

Our management is great. They do the best of all the managers that I have ever had the privilege of meeting, or working with. Though they still are managers and still have a dickish side that pops out on occasions, just part of the job I suppose, but they are wonderful none the less.

As far as our bouncers go they are gods at their jobs, to put it mildly. I have never felt so secure in any lap dance area, it's a true relief. Though our new bouncer is very iffy to say the least, we have had our disagreements I'll admit, but hopefully he will find his groove and fall into his proper space, then all will mesh as it was intended to. But all in all as far as I am concerned, the true description of a bouncers duties is to be our protectors, to make the club a safe environment where we feel comfortable to run around naked and do our jobs without fear of harm or hurt. The men here must understand this and it really shows, and know it or not it is really appreciated and from all of us, thank you so much.

Now lets not forget the dj's of the sbsr. For the most part they do the job, they play the songs, call our names, and try to get the men to clap, but that's all. There is no enthusiasm in their monotone radio voices. The crowd can tell this and I believe that moods transfer, and theirs goes right to the crowd, and to the ladies. At times I wonder which is more desirable, at least a juke box can have nothing foul to send out, it does the exact same thing, it plays the songs, though I have seen many a juke have a wider variety then our boys.

Now lets get onto our lovely ladies. The girls are pretty descent as far as dancers go, we do have our extra-curricular ladies, but they have the respect to keep their conduct discreet, and for the most part it doesn't hinders the prosperity of our other ladies. Now this is for those ladies, why do you do that much for a 20 spot when the majority of us don't? I mean I could understand it if that was what you had to do, if it was seen as the club norm., but its not. All your doing is hurting yourselves and your reputation, we all know what your doing for those extra long dance tally's, I'm not mad, but I feel so bad that you give them so much of yourself for such a small return only to have to go home and face yourselves in the mirror. I don't know how you do it.

Onto a brighter note, I have decided I feel more that a lot of our customers have the tendencie to rip us off, unlike the contrary opinions that the dancers rip off the patrons. May I ask you what you are truly expecting out of us for a 20? I personally wouldn't expect you to let me maul you for a mere 80 quarters, I wouldn't want to, not because I'm not horny, or anything to that effect, no major malfunctions here. Simply because I wouldn't degrade myself that way. I couldn't live with myself if I had to pay to handle you, I can understand that this is just a trip to the sc, it is supposed to be a fantasy, and mentally I could never let myself cross that fine line between dreamland and the reality of it all.

Further more, personally I feel outraged when a man gets upset with me for asking him not to suck on my tits or attempt to fondle my kitty. Then what makes me even more disappointed in the male gender is when I am propositioned by a customer for some pathetic amount of cash, and when I simply refuse their offer, take it as an insult! Like 50 dollars should just make me wet and want to go hump you out back in the back seat of your piece of crap jalopie. The worst part of that whole scenairo is that I am convinced if you are able to find a girl to take you up on this deal you'll trot outside to perform your 5 mins. of ecstasy and then at the end you'll convince yourself that she wanted to be there with you. Then you'll go back to your reg. stomping grounds, brag to your buddies that this hot girl was all over you and she begged you to go do her in your dingy ride, of course you were doing her so hard you thought you might break her in half. Then you go on to say you might call her again sometime if your desperate for a piece or something, when in all actuality you mean if you can save enough money, considering with your beer habit and all the other habits you have had to acquire over time to make your pathetic livable, you'd jump at the second chance to feel alive again. Too bad that was probably truly the highlight of your life and she went home to soak in bleach.

Now I'm not saying this of all our fans. Those of you that don't fall under this description are what help us endure through all their s*#t, you are our breath of fresh air after the storm. Like the regulars that come rain or shine. They always have a moment to lend an open ear when the night is slow. They never forget something important that you just mentioned by chance in a conversation and they'll bring it up at just the right occasion. When everyone that you wanted to remember has forgotten, they'll remember that it's your birthday. Then there's the young one's that have only came in a handful of times or less, they have this look of true awe and splendor. Like a tike on Christmas morn, their eyes wide and dancing with a silent laughter that can never be imitated or forced, only brought on by pure and simple joy.

Those are the thoughts that get taken home at night, those are the things that let us know our work is appreciated and that the world isn't all that bad. With out the patrons we have nothing, and we thank you for coming and supporting us, we hope you enjoy the show.

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Date: Fri 1/4/02 1:01 PM
From: Jazzariphigh@aol.com
Subject: Nicolas

Please update Nicola's nightclub and check out one Asian dancer.  She works usually Tue-Fri, sometimes sat.  She's has a different style of dancing that nobody has seen before, especially when she catch air while she's sitting.  But you'd have to ask her cuz she doesn't do it in all her set. Update after the fire (remodeling).
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