The Internet

Letters to Z Bone For 2003

BobSometimes Z Bone readers just want to flame me or tell me something without asking me anything. Others want to expunge their guilt by confessing to Z.

There is no claim by me that any of these e-mails relate to reality. The more interesting or thought provoking ones will be posted right here. Obvious shills will not, unless it's downright hilarious.

Submissions may be edited or shortened at Z Bone's discretion or lack thereof. If you do not want your name shown, please specify so in your e-mail.

Date: Mon 10/20/2003 10:51 PM
From: karen
Subject: Jumbo's

Obviously you need to go back [to Jumbo's] for a visit. Preferably at night on a Friday or Saturday around midnight. the place will be mostly likely packed with scenesters and hipsters male and female, the girls quite attractive and interesting even though many are "exotic" and alternative looking ( some with lots of tattoos, or exotic hair colors like the" suicide girl" punk rock pinup girls.) Have you seen Luscious Lola, or the tall cool blonde Ava, or Julia Roberts look a like Cinnamon with a mega watt smile?? How about the leggy black Goddess Ramona,or Gypsy the ballerina with an ass to die for? Then there's porn queen extraordinaire Velvet Rose and Mecca who looks like silent movie star, or Platinum blonde Jane? So what if there's a transsexual or two working there, it just adds to the weird, cool David lynch type vibe. The girls perform in a burlesque/cabaret style of dancing which is now just suddenly becoming hot in other regular clubs such as Forty Deuce. The girls at night make money- they are paid a small salary and the goods one usually walk away with about 200 bucks which is decent for a club of that size. They do table/lap dances for 20 bucks a song. I saw a girl do 5 in a row! If you don't think they are making money you could certainly go in and tip more! Obviously you like a more mainstream type of club- this place is more fun and hip- not a place for diehard perverts looking for the grind of their life.

thank you,

[Editor's note: Since 2003, I have re-visited Jumbo's and I will be doing a re-review.]


Date: Fri 10/3/2003 4:04 AM
From: Ken
Subject: advice

Greetings, Two suggestions:

1) Break out a section for bars under L.A. County rules from those regulated by the city so it will be clear which can still offer lap dances.

2) Suggest a legal tactic to the owners: Pornography must be regulated with comunity standards in mind, which is why Ashcroft is bringing Internet cases in a smal town in Pennsylvania rather than California where the company is sited. Therefore, how can L.A., which allows gay bathhouses, which the customers pay to enter, and where the city promotes safe sex therein, be so concerned about a dancer getting within six feet of a hetrosexual male. That's discrimination and selective enforcement.



Date: Mon 9/29/2003 12:07 PM
From: lopaw
Subject: Women & Children First


Regarding "Women & Children First".... Thanx for that cold splash of water in our panicky, frightened faces. You're absolutely correct on all counts. Phew. I feel better already! You're like a father calming down his jittery, hyperactive (altho always horny) kids. Now I'm off to the Goose! Regards, lopaw


Date: Tue 9/9/2003 10:07 AM
From: Lily
Subject: An alternative for dancers and their fans from a Hollywood exotic dancer and writer

Hey Zbone

My name is Lily from Jumbo's Clown Room since 1996. You have a letter printed from "Suzy", a dancer who uses this stage name. My real name is Suzy. Please include my letter so that I can set the record straight about how I really feel about this buisiness, so full of beauty and people coming together for higher purposes than just titilation. Thanks for the opportunity to share my womens guide to sexual temptation by knowing ourselves and becoming whole and escaping pornography. What leads a woman to accept social messeges encouraging immoral, indecent behavior? This will cover the role society plays in shaping our values.  More...

[Editor's note: Back in 2003, I emailed Lily and told her that I was going to have to edit down her letter because it was too long. Now that I'm finally getting around to posting it, I changed my mind and decided to put the entire email online, completely unedited.  Just click on the "More..." above to see it all.  For the record, this is not the longest email that I received over the years, but it's close.]


Date: Sat 7/12/03 10:34 PM
From: Mark Isaacson
Subject: Mugged

Thought you might be interested hear my story of being mugged in a strip club. Can't give you many details cause I have complete amnesia of the actual event. But I know that it happened at the First King late on a Friday night - actually around 1 am Saturday morning around 5 years ago. All I know is that I woke up in the intensive care ward of a hospital in Gardena Saturday around noon. They told me that the cops had retrieved me from the floor of the restroom of the First King. Apparently I was unconscious, but they were able to revive me. My wallet had been taken but surprisingly they did not take my car keys. the cop walked me outside to help me find my car, but I passed out in the parking lot before finding it.

They brought me to the hospital in an ambulence. They ran tests for drugs and alchohol which all came up negative. I don't do drugs and will have one beer at most in an evening. No matter how hard I try, I can't remember anything of that evening. In fact the last memory I have of that Friday is having lunch with a guy from work. Turns out I had a cut on my chin requiring a few stitches and a sore spot on the back of my head. But I'm not convinced that I was hit or physically abused. I had no sore spots anywhere on my body except my head - and they were mild. It's quite possible I was slipped something like a date-rape drug (which causes amnesia), and simply dropped on the bathroom floor causing the cut on my chin.

As bad as all this sounds, it wasn't really a traumatic experience for me because of the amnesia. I believe that a dancer or waitress saw that I had more than $50 in my wallet and tipped off the perpetrators. I was lucky to be able to retrieve my car across the street about a block away when I got out of the hospital. So I would advise men not to be the only white guy in the First King at 1 am on a Saturday morning (duh)!


Date: Sat 7/5/03 5:38 PM
From: San Francisco Guy
Subject: Opposing the Proposed Law

the way that some politicians want to ruin the strip club experience in Los Angeles sucks. Yes if we do nothing some politician in San Francisco could campaign for the same restrictions here. Yes we can do something to help prevent that by protesting by email to members of the Los Angeles City Council and by sending letters to the editor to Los Angeles newspapers. The email address of every politician on the LA City Council can be found at and then you could find their email addresses. You could just click on their email addresses instead of having to type them in.

You could mention that LA's murder rate is very high and is continuing to climb higher and that is causing you to avoid visiting LA and spending your money there. You could mention that it is dumb for the City Council to divert police away from making LA safer by sending police into strip clubs. Before LA politicians try to invent new crimes they need to concentrate police efforts on LA's unacceptably high murder rate.

You could also mention that strip clubs help LA's economy and attract tourists and all of this would change with this new law. Keep your messages polite but make it clear that the new law would endanger the lives of everyone in LA by putting a new burden on the already overburdened and understaffed police force in a city that is trying to become the murder capital of America. If you do nothing when your messages could help to stop political interference in strip clubs in LA, don't be surprised when you see political interference in strip clubs in San Francisco.


Date: Sun 6/29/03 2:34 AM
From: [Name withheld by request]
Subject: LA Ordinance

Hi I am a person that enjoys LA's strip clubs on a regular basis. So when I heard about this new ordinance that they were trying to pass I got really upset. I really wanted to do something to help the dancers, owners, other workers and myself by trying to stop this unconstitutional ordinance. So the first thing that came to mind was a petition. I was wondering if your organization can create a free petition online at and advertise it on your site so that average strip club visitors like myself can sign the petition and try to stop the ordinance. I could make the petition myself but I think it would get better publicity if your does it.

a worried strip clubber


Date: Tue 6/10/03 10:23 AM
From: Stephanie Stern
Subject: City Council to Ban Lap Dancing in Los Angeles

I visit your site from time to time, I really think its well done and very informative. I am writing to you because of some very disturbing news that I heard this morning. That I believe will effect your website and an industry that we both know and love. This morning I heard on Los Angeles radio that the City Council of Los Angeles is meeting to ban lap Dancing as well as VIP rooms in Los Angeles County. Dancers must be at least 3 feet away from the person at all times, with no more g-string tipping. This is a plague that hit Vegas clubs last year now it is here in Los Angeles.

I am writing to you because you have a forum that reaches a vast quantity of people. You have subscribers with email address that you can alert to this problem. You have access to strip club managers, Owners and Dancers that can do something about this. This is their industry!

I am a Divorce Attorney and don't have many friends in City Hall. Former clients but certainly no friends of mine. I am willing to give up some of my free time to stop a bunch of mindless bureaucrats from telling me what I can or can not do with my free time. I will stand out side of supermarkets with a clip board with a petition, put my reputation on the line for this. This insanity has to stop, we cant have people take the few rights that we have away from us without our say. This country doesn't work this way. I would like to start an email campaign, flood city hall with emails opposing this proposal before it becomes a law.


Date: Fri 5/2/03 3:10 PM
From: Suzy
Subject: Jumbo's Clown Room

I'm writing you to set you straight about Jumbo's [Clown Room]. I know from reading your reviews (quite helpful to dancers trying to find the right place, by the way- thanks!), that you enjoy "milage" and getting as much action as possible. True, Jumbo's will not get you that, but here is what you do get:

first, there is a wide variety of dancers there. If you like tattooed shaved head girls, we've got 'em. If you like fake boobed porn star girls, we've got those too! We have girls who can actually dance, and then, now get this- actually have an intelligent conversation with you... many of us are in college, or, like me, grad school...AND we don't hustle. There's an unwritten rule that the dancers don't hustle for table dances, so as a customer, you only have to tip when you want, and you don't get frustrated by always being harrassed. As most of the customers say "it's like a neighborhood bar, that happens to have dancers".

As a dancer, it's a great place to work! I love it. I have been dancing for 8 years off and on, and have danced in LA, SF, Philly and Denver. I have hated every club i worked at for one reason or another, but liked dancing, so I stuck with it. I LOVE jumbos. It's great. I get paid a small amount, so even if there are few customers, I still make 15+/hour (which isn't bad for no hussle). It's more than I have made at any other club in LA county... Also, there's no need to hussle. That means I don't have to grind on some pathetic guy's cock for 10$, and don't have to worry that I won't make any money otherwise. It also means that the girls form close friendships and are fairly competition free. It doesn't matter what the other girls do, cause I know I'll make the same amount either way. Also, the customers are generally young, nice, attractive and intelligent. There's a customer type for every girl type, and I have often found myself attracted to the customers. This makes dancing for them and chatting with them easy and really fun. I love going to work there and often find myself there on my nights off. Plus, the owner is a really nice woman and the bartenders and bouncers are also great!

So, your review has obviously not hindered our money-making abilities, but I thought you might want another opinion on the matter. We've got what a lot of people want, and i only feel sorry for you if you can't see through some pathetic need to get jerked off by a slutty stupid dancer at a huge gentleman's club, to see the beauty and charm at Jumbo's clown room

thanks for your time and good luck



Date: Sat 4/26/03 7:56 AM
From: Bascom Mayes
Subject: Anna Malle

i would do anything in the world to be in 1 porn movie with Anna Malle and i mean anything. my name is eric and she is my idol of porn.


Date: Mon 3/17/03 6:46 PM
From: Jayme Lundquist
Subject: You Are Sick Mother Fuckers!

you are all sick mother fuckers!  You have nothing better to do with your lame ass lives than visit strip clubs and give ratings to girls young enough to be your daughters!  And all these comments on touching, why don't you get a girlfriend of your own to touch, why do you have to violate society.  Does it make you feel like a man to touch a naked young girl for 20 dollars?  Do you even care what happens to your soul?  Do you even have a conscience?!!!  Just because there are hundreds of men just like you does not make you normal or accepted!  You are all sick and perverted and you make women feel like shit!

ANd yes I know what I am talking about I am one of those dancers you think so much about you had to rate them.  You know that you have never said one bad thing about me, but even your compliments feel like insults coming from you, the scum of human kind.  You are the reason women cry themselves to sleep at night.  Would you want your daughter or girlfriend to be force-fondeled or rated on the internet just because she is trying to make a living dancing?  Most of these women have children and families, they are human too.

And sick fucks like you feel its your god-given right to slander them on the internet.  Just because you see the same woman every weekend does not make her your girlfriend.  These women don't give a shit about you, infact they've probably seen you hundreds of times and still don't know your name, but yet some how you think about them once you go home.  Enough to call them by their so-called names and talk about your dance/encounter with them, the closest thing you can get to a date, and then you have a whole website to talk about it.

Get a fucking life!!  This is borderline pedophelia, strong signs of insecurity.  I don't know how you sleep at night, maybe you should think about that the next time you try to violate the women you rate in your fucked up website!


Date: Fri 1/3/03 4:08 PM
From: Peggy
Subject: Molesters and Groupies Stay Away

I earned that "side dish" ...maybe when I was 1, 2, 3 years old.  That "side dish" cost my MOLESTER millions and millions and millions of dollars.  That "side dish" is my bank, that "straw" keeps that man HONEST and out of my POCKETBOOK. SO FUCK YOU...AND YOUR GROUPIES...AND NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER OR CONTACT ME -OR- COME NEAR ME AGAIN.

[Phone # Redacted]


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