|Sometimes Z Bone readers just want to flame me or tell me something
without asking me anything. Others want to expunge their guilt by confessing
There is no claim by me that any of these e-mails relate to reality. The more
interesting or thought provoking ones will be posted right here. Obvious shills
will not, unless it's downright hilarious.
Submissions may be edited or shortened at Z Bone's discretion or lack thereof.
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Date: Wed 12/19/2007 12:01 AM
Subject: Complaint For Charges and a Beat Down
Great Site. Been in L.A. for 16 years. I check in occasionally, mainly
when I'm on the outskirts of town.
Anyway, I'm not a cheap guy, but I'm not a glutton when it comes to the
clubs. I make an appearance maybe once every few months or so, and am
usually in it to check out the hotties by sitting up near the stage tossing
out $1s and $5s for about 3 or 4 dances, determine which of them is the
dirtiest, and then buy the $20 dollar 2 for 1 for $40 or the $35 2 for 1 for
$50, which I usually give up front... it seems to benefit the situation.
Anyway, that's about my m.o., so I hope you believe me when I say I
returned to the Star Strip
on 365 N La Cienega Blvd, and had the most fucked up experience. I used to
live in that hood about ten years ago and was a regular... These were the
days when Ben Stiller would come storming in at 10 minutes to close all
wired up, frantically picking someone, and heading off into the back.
So I show up there after having likely just enough to drink at the
Sofitel to deplete my cashflow down to two $20s. I decide to use my credit
card for the door fees so I'm liquid enough to at least have some fun, but I
guess I was just distracted enough to be dumb enough to be talked into
leaving my card open.
Cut to 20 minutes later, the average looking Asian chick, who's boobs are
big enough to marginally hold my attention, beyond the drone of her voice,
has decided that she IS going to be the one I'll be having a private dance
with. I begin to realize this and decide from the looks I'm getting from
around the room from the other girls, that she's put her mark on me... no
one else is 'allowed'.
I get up to leave and ask to sign out. Some dude hands me three CC
receipts, two of which are for $100 each, and the third... ready for
I'm aghast. I begin to laugh and tell the guy he has to be kidding, since
all this girl and I did was talk. And trust me, don't let me give you the
impression that if she even DID rub around on me and do a dance, I'd even
consider paying much more than $50 unless she was going to... ( well, simply
because it was obvious I was being steamrolled here ).
Here's the best part. I tell him there's not a snowballs chance in Hell
I'll sign it, and what does he and his buddy do? They beat me down to the
ground. I'm in good shape, so the majority of my injuries have healed in the
past few weeks... but these fuckers actually kicked me repeatedly while I
was on the ground.
In the melee they also managed the license out of my pocket, which they
subsequently waved around saying that they now know where I lived in case I
wanted to press charges, etc.
The door guy inhibited my exit, and then spent the better part of the
next half hour trying to make things "nice, nice" since I originally stormed
off claiming to go to get the police. Once it was apparent I was wayy too
fucking pissed to listen to his bullshit ( and as I began to cool off, he
likely sensed I wasn't actually ready to risk a DUI to pursue this with the
police at this moment), he pointed to the sign that basically said the
establishment has the right to charge whatever they want once you walk in
So that's it... That's my story, take it or leave it. I'm including a
screenshot of the charges I'm obviously contesting with my CC company and
fyi, I'm filing a complaint with the BBB.
I work 12 hour days as an artist in this fickle film business... I work
super-hard, like everyone else, and since it's feast or famine, that money
becomes super valuable during the 'lean' times. That said, I also like to
blow off steam every once in awhile and have no problem spending my money.
I fully understand the valuable service you provide here, and it's for
this reason that I've bothered conveying to you about this whole
fuck-for-all. Your readers deserve it.
These are some bad dudes. I'd hate to color the girls the same way, but
where many of them witnessed what happened and were originally horrified by
what went down... Screaming ( and yes, crying, originally taking my side and
asking if I was okay ) were able to later determine their fate if they
maintained alliance with me, and ended up taking the 'party line'. I can't
blame them, but it'd sure have been sexier for one of them to take a stand
Okay, that's all I got.
-Tom, Los Angeles 12/18/07
(P.S. You'll see they decided to drop one of the ~$100 charges and are
listed near the bottom as 'STAR RESTAURANT'... I'm blocking some stuff out
because it'd give away my identity. If YOU want my identity as a condition
of printing this, please contact me by e-mail me )
Date: Mon 12/17/2007 11:22 AM
Subject: No Site Updates
I like going through your site but have noticed for a while it is pretty
out dated. Some of the clubs are no longer around or have changed names and
the reviews I don?t think are consistent with the atmosphere you would find
today at some of them.
It would be nice to see more updates and maybe a user/reader rated value
as well which would help on keeping the site updated a little more. It seems
after 2006 the site pretty much went silent, I do see in the news sections
there are a couple more recent additions (September 2007) but am failing to
see any new content otherwise or ratings on the clubs.
Also, are there any plans for a redesign of the site? Get it attracting
more people in? This site has a lot of potential rate clubs and to provide
direct feedback to the owners. Personally I like to think of your site as
the Zagat of strip clubs, which are the best ones which not so much, who are
the good ladies who are the ones to watch out for. I think some clubs would
like to know how their customer experiences are too, maybe that could be
used as a way to have revenue to continue rating the clubs? J
I also noticed you are using straight html pages, might want to look into
ASP or PHP etc? to make things more dynamic . J
[Editor's Note: We do have a
reader review section but I agree that a lot of my reviews need
updating. As for updating from simple HTML, I wish I had the time to
do that. I've been working on converting the bulletin board and reader
review board for over a year. One day it will happen. But that
day isn't today.]
Date: Wed 10/3/2007 3:31 PM
Subject: Checkout Ryan
I'm not too sure if this is the correct way to grab your attention
regarding this matter however, i have decided to try. We (my unit and I)
just recently got back from Iraq and a buddy of ours who is a recruiter for
the Marine Corps now has an office in Anaheim.
After hours he invited us to a topless bar by the name of
in the city of Anaheim. Now i used to frequent your site however, i've been
away for some time and i have fallen back on times.
I got to see that girl Simone
and by my standards she is nothing compared to this "new" girl named
Ryan Shamrock. She is Black and
Irish and puts both nationalities to work. Great face, tight body, cute
ass...The works. Man, can she dance.
She's got that X-Factor on stage and off. Her pole tricks are very well
executed and again, she can dance. Now here is the reason i'm really
recommending this young lady to you. Her lap dances were great. By every
mean necessary. She doesn't get dirty, and nothing extra curricular flies
with her but her movements and shit are superb.
Check her out when you get the chance. She has a myspace. i believe its
She leaves simone in the dust... they went on stage back to back and i
will say that she rocked the place better than simone did. I liked her (ryan's
) lap dances better too. Although. Simones ass is bigger!
Take care and good luck with this. You can e-mail me back if you wish.
However, we're gettin gready to go back because we're with a quick reaction
[Editors Note: Thanks for the heads up. She will make a
Date: Sun 9/23/2007 4:10 PM
As a recent addition to Jumbo's lineup I have to say your review seriously
Subject: Jumbo's and Crazy Girls
As for money is concerned some of us do well enough
nowadays... the only trouble is that many of the "cool" kids that come in
are under the impression all 'dancers' make tons of money. Perhaps you could
mention that the women who work very hard and can't or choose not to
capitalize on their reproductive regions don't get paid unless they are
The girls at Jumbo's are probably some of the most talented beautiful
girls in L.A. . I have added a few shifts at the newly opened
crazy girls... and
most of the girls are worlds away from the
Jumbo's roster. Not to
mention the hardsell lapdances and the feeling that anyone in charge would
be willing to look the other way for the right size stack; makes crazy girls
more of a machine than the down to earth vibe of Jumbo's.
Anyway, it would be cool for you to update your page with some new
reviews of both clubs. I don't know how much longer I can maintain my soul
at Crazy Girls however; I won't be leaving Jumbo's anytime soon. I'm there
Just got home from crazy girls and the funny thing is, the lapdance really
sold itself tonight and I enjoyed every second. Sick world? Perhaps. I heard
purgatory has a rather sensible climate and it's rent controlled... Live by
the pole. Die by the bowl.
Thanks for your time, Zee
Date: Fri 6/8/2007 1:44 AM
Subject: Hard Bodies
Am glad to find your reviews since most clubs are a waste of time to try
for me. I moved to LA from Dallas 8 years ago and was generally disappointed
by dancers at clubs around LA as being not as good looking overall as what
you find in Big D where there just seems to be alot more money circulating.
There are some really swank clubs in Dallas that resemble 5 star hotels
(with indoor pools, humidors, barber and clothing shops inside) and I have
spoken to a number of girls who regularly fly in from other parts of the
country because the money is so good there. Have been to some of the better
known clubs here, but most are surprisingly cheap and seedy in comparison,
and where more of the dancers are what I would consider merely average
looking. 'Average' is not what I care to pay good money for when there are
many better looking women walking down the street outside.
But more to the point, personally I prefer very fit, hard bodied girls
who look like they workout several days a week, which are all over better
Dallas clubs. In L.A., eight years ago I saw one at
Cheetahs who quit after
only a few weeks. I didnt see another really fit stripper until recently at
4play (the only place I
know to find a few exceptional looking girls now that
CGs is closed).
Date: Sat 4/21/2007 7:08 AM
From: [Name withheld by request]
Subject: ...But She's Soooo Hot!
Wanted to send this letter to remind and warn your readers of the very
real danger of trying to date dancers. This is something I have generally
avoided in the past unless they have pursued me, and even then, the results
are not good. But I have never had an experience as bad as what happened
this past week.
I met one of the those dancers that I just clicked with, we hung out at
the club 3 or 4 times, talked for hours. She told me a bunch of weird stuff
I hadnt heard from dancers before like "when youre in here, I dont want to
dance for other guys because I feel guilty" and "I feel weird that you have
to pay me for dances." We even french kissed during a dance, something I
have not seen before and Ive been in a lot of clubs. I was not spending very
much money on her but she would hang out with me as long as I was there. I
asked if she would like to hang out outside the club sometime and we made
plans that didnt work out. She didnt show up, etc. It was typical dancer
stuff so I didnt really care.
Also, I noticed that when she would call me it wasnt from her own number.
She would call, then say she would call me tomorrow to do this or that and
it wouldnt happen. But each time she would promise that she would and that
she was sorry. Ive been around the block and this girl really seemed sincere
in wanting to hang out with me so I began to think she had a boyfriend or
other controlling influence than wasnt allowing her to meet me or call me.
The next time we made plans it was for me to pick her up at her house. Of
course, it wasnt in the nicest neighborhood and I never, ever shouldve went.
But, because she was really hot and because I really liked her, I foolishly
did it anyway and gave some friends strict instructions that if they didnt
hear from me within the hour to start to worry.
Well, I was right to worry. Within five seconds of showing up, three guys
came out of the house asking who was I looking for and why was I there. When
I told them who I was looking for, they told me to get the fuck away and
that if I ever came back they would "fuck me up." Because I was prepared for
this potential situation from earlier clues, I was able to remain calm and
said I wouldnt be back and they let me go, but it obviously couldve turned
out a lot worse.
So if you want to date a dancer, no matter how cool or how hot she is,
ask yourself why, ask yourself why again. Then ask yourself are you really
fucking sure you want to pursue this because there is almost no way that it
ends well, and you might end up lying in a gutter somewhere.
As an aside, Im obviously hurt that the girl would put me in harms way
like that. I just dont understand it. I should never talk to her again but I
would like to hear her side of the story. And it goes without saying that I
should never, ever try to see her again. But shes soooo hot...
I am an idiot, if this message saves one reader from being stupid then
its worth it. I think it was clear from her behavior that she had some dude
protecting her and I chose to pursue anyway. Very stupid. Zbone readers,
dont do it!!!
Date: Fri 3/30/2007 8:18 PM
From: [Name withheld by request]
Subject: No Sex in the Champagne Room
[I went to Vegas and visited Scores.] When I walked in the bouncer
told me a "hostess" would give me a tour. This sounded fishy, and I was
right, she was a dancer. She took me up to a room on the "tour" and told me
it was a champagne room and the cheapest bottle cost $200 and her company
cost $500 an hour.
I told her I wanted to go to the main room, where the regular dances
were, and she told me this cost $300 an hour for her company. I told her
this didn't make any sense, and she pretended like she didn't understand.
She told me we could go in a private room for $300 for 3 songs. I told her I
didn't want to, not yet, I wanted to look around. "Okay, fine, I'll make it
$300 for half an hour because I like you." Bullshit.
Unfortunately, I was in a city I don't know well, in a club I don't know
well, was intimidated and let my self get pushed around. I ended up paying
$300 for the half hour. About 5 minutes in, another girl said "drink for the
lady?" I asked how much it was. "$10."
Well, at this point, my dancer had been giving the least contact lap I've
ever received, and I thought maybe getting her a little drunk would help, so
I bought one. She drank a shot out of the other girl's cleavage. "$25
please." "I thought you said it was $10." "It's $25 if she drinks it out of
my chest." "Well I did't ask for that." She grabbed the bouncer, and he told
me it was $25. Considering I'm 5'9" and 170 pounds and he was a good 6'4"
and 240 pounds, I just paid.
Apparently, this girl thought a good lap dance was standing a foot away
from me and shaking her ass at me (she said LV law dictates that she has to
wear a g-string). A couple times she sat in my lap, but just the slightest
moving, no grinding.
She put her breasts in my face and let me cup them a few times, but that
was it. She then tried to pressure me to tip the bouncer "$20 or $30" for
"leaving us alone." Fat chance, since he'd upcharged me on the drink and
it's not like his leaving us alone did anything. I had noticed that when
other people tipped the bouncer, he took the money without looking in a
handshake, put it in his pocket, and only looked once the PL walked away. So
I tipped him $1. I thought he'd enjoy that.
The whole dance, she kept saying "Let's hire another girl to join us." I
kept asking if that would get me more contact, more grinding, if I could
touch, etc. She just giggled and said "We'll kiss each other and lick each
other's boobies." Pathetic. She spent the whole half hour trying to convince
My girl was great looking, but that was the only pleasure of the night. I
never even got fully hard, and after my dance was over I left without even
sticking around (partially because I was pissed off, and partially because I
was out of cash).
Waste of my time and a lot of money ($500 with drinks, tips, cab rides).
The only reason I wanted to go to Scores was that last time my friend was
there, a girl took him to a private room for a bed dance for half an hour
for $250, made out with him the whole time while using her hand over his
pants, and offered to meet him later at his hotel room for $400. I wasn't
looking for that, but I figured it would at LEAST be as nasty as LA clubs.
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