The Internet
Letters to Z Bone For 1997
BobSometimes Z Bone readers just want to flame me or tell me something without asking me anything. Others want to expunge their guilt by confessing to Z.

There is no claim by me that any of these e-mails relate to reality. The more interesting or thought provoking ones will be posted right here. Obvious shills will not, unless it's downright hilarious.

Submissions may be edited or shortened at Z Bone's discretion or lack thereof. If you do not want your name shown, please specify so in your e-mail.


Date: Thu, 11 Dec 1997 19:52:05
From: Michael A. Oldenburg <maonaco@juno.com>
Subject: Re: Tipping

I do not know if you want to talk about his but I have been seeing a great deal of men who go to strip clubs and sit like the gargoyles of Notre Dame.

[Snip of good old days story]
But lately, when I go in the clubs at least here behind the Orange Curtain, I see many guys who are sitting at the stage not tipping, let alone the gargoyles. I know it must be the same elsewhere, but why? Why is it that no one will tip anymore?

On the flip side, the places like Fritz, That's Too that have the girls come around after their set and ask you to your face for a tip, even when you have your back the stage is brazen to a whole new level..

Now I make it a rule to tip even if the girl is ugly, has two left feet or whatever because that is how they make their money. They did the work, they should get paid.

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Date: Mon, 01 Dec 1997 06:00:20
From: phantomofthenigh@hotmail.com
Subject: Exotica

Stopped by Exotica last night and boy, was I disappointed! I thought the $5 cover was a bargain, but it ended up being as much a bust as the drink and the lap. From the $4 drink that ended up costing $5 because the waitress took it upon herself to tip herself a buck (I would have given it to her anyway, but the fact she just took it really scored some negative points in my book), to the less-than-enthusiastic lap from the best looking girl in the place (who by-the-way would have a tough time competing with any of the ladies at TL).

I should have followed my instincts and gone back to the best... Tropical Lei in Upland. As a public service to your readers, please tell them not to waste their time and money at Exotica!

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Date: Sun, 30 Nov 1997 08:31:57
From: Nick Pratt <eland@pacificnet.net>
Subject: Cheetah's & Jumbos

After a long day at work, we decided to relax at Jumbo's, since we heard it was good. The girls collected our tips and thanked us from the stage. We never got to talk to them, since after dancing, they went straight to the bar, where other girls sat with a few customers. Finally at the stage, after tipping the dancer, I asked her would she come over, she said yes, then she ignored us and bee-lined to the bar. Since we always tip at least $5.00, more if we really like her, we both though we don't need to be treated like that and left, vowing to never return.

Stopped at Cheetah's on the way home. Paid $5.00 to enter and saw a bevy of atractive girls. At the table to our left were six dancers cheering the one on stage and hugging each other. Not one hello to us. Walking right past us to go to the bar and back, it was like we were invisiable. Then one dancer finished her dance stopped and we tipped her $10.00 each.. she was nice. However the one that followed her finished came over to our table and proceeded to blast me about not tipping her.

What's up with this? Being African American dosen't have anything to do with this does it? Think I'll confine my time at The Gentlemen's Club, at least there the girls acknowledge a guy.

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Date: Sun, 23 Nov 1997 17:10:08
From: Jim W. [email address withheld by request]
Subject: Dancers can be addictive

I followed and became the number one fan of a nude dancer in Washington, DC. She recently stopped dancing but she won't say why. I never had sex with her but she let me hang out with her all the time. Of course I spent alot of money on her both inside and outside of the club where she danced. She practically broke me. I guess I was living in a fantasy world since I am 20 years older than she. She stills calls me and wants to see me but so far I have only seen her once.

One observation about dancers is that most seem to have substance abuse problems - in her case both alcohol and various drugs. One warning for readers of this note is don't get hung up on one dancer no matter how friendly she becomes. If you are are not a stud in her eyes or a drug dealer or very rich you will just be wasting your money and emotions.

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Date: Thu, 30 Oct 1997 12:27:19
From: Wshdup@aol.com
Subject: Bobs

Picked up a newspaper Tuesday night. Looking to save some money on my one night out a week. Saw an ad for half price entry at Bob's. Have not cared much for this club recently so I thought i would give it a try. The ad said all dances were half price. When I got there the sign said admission twenty five dollars. I gave the guy my half price coupon. He said it had expired the day before, but the ad was in that days paper advertising that days activities. That club has been slipping for a year. I hope they just go away.
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Date: Tue, 28 Oct 1997 13:47:17
From: jw@mad.scientist.com
Subject: Re:Bare Elegance 9/15/97 [Roy C Brandt]

Roy,

I think that you just happened in [to the Bare Elegance] on a bad night. I would've been in on that date (now six weeks gone) but I would've only been in during the shift change hours and not stayed for the contest. I can assure you that Madison (and Zee, and Taylor, and Christine, and ... ) still work there and are as pleasing as before. And if you make it back in before Halloween [1997] you may like Sìobhàn (Celtic - pronounced shi-VAHN close to chiffon).

I can also mention that, about that time, it seems that they were rotating through a lot of girls causing several morale problems.

Geez, I wish I could get something from management for sticking up for the club.

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Date: Mon, 27 Oct 1997 13:47:52
From: Matt S. [email address withheld by request]
Subject: Tampa clubs

I moved about a month ago to Tampa from Boston, where the club scene has all but died (f*cking Puritans). Your section on Tampa needs some serious updating. I'd heard a lot of hype about the Tampa clubs, and after sampling about a half dozen (Mons, 2001, Ybor Strip, the Tanga, among others), I can honestly say the hype is true. Having sampled clubs in New England, NYC, LA, and Vegas, among other places, I've never seen anything like this. Throw in the body scrub and lingerie joints that are as ubiquitous here as gas stations and gourmet car washes in SoCal, and Tampa truly justifies its "Sin City" reputation.

A couple of specific comments. You note that the news groups suggest clubs here are under attack but fighting back. I've seen no evidence of that at all, in fact new clubs are opening and others are upgrading throughout Tampa/St. Pete and the surrounding area. Your review of Mon's is still accurate, but the 2001 upgrade puts that club right up there with Mons. And as I mentioned, there are a handful of other clubs where first-class lappers can be had that are just as good as those, though one has to be a bit more selective.

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Date: Fri, 24 Oct 1997 18:47:36
From: ad107@lafn.org
Subject: regarding johndoe917@aol.com and DVNH party

I was reading Zmail, and can repond to the question regarding the [Deja Vu, North Hollywood] Halloween party -- It's most likely worth it. I went to the party there last New Year's Eve, and they had a champagne fountain and domestic beer. All the staff and dancers were enjoying -- The laps that night were *really* hot, too... ;)
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Date: Thr, 23 Oct 1997 21:48:31
From: Tom Eckstein <tomeck@rain.org>
Subject: Well done

There are a lot more clubs in the LA area than you mention. Shortage of reviewers? Not worth the effort? Trying to keep good things quiet? Hmmm. I personally prefer the nastier sort, but Crazy Cat II (not CC 1, which I find boring) is a nice local bar sort of atmosphere with a couple of topless chics dancing most times. I find it a pleasant break off of 101 in the valley at Winnetka. No nasties but kinda komfy.

YMMV can cover a lot of territory. I've had excellent dances and crummy ones within an evening at the Jet Strip. The sheriff/cops love to hang out at the back now and drink coffee/schmooze with the dancers. Initially off putting but the private dance area is still off to the side. Now what about those cameras?

Wouldn't mind if you'd have a bit more info on busts. It's a load of crap but if we all know what's going on we will all be better off.

Z:
Done.

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Date: Wed, 22 Oct 1997 16:16:33
From: Lisa <DERANGER@aol.com>
Subject: re Hollywood tropicana

Guess what? my name is Lisa, and I danced at Angel's, in Long Beach, since they opened [approx. 9 years] as well as Fritz 1 and Fritz 11 and Deja Vu. I was also hired on the spot at the Wild Goose and Sam's Hof Brau. I have been to; or worked at just about every major club in L.A. as well as Pure Platinum {nationally} and Vegas.

I am presently employed at the Hollywood Tropicana and in ten years of dancing {i'm 19, you do the math] I have never been happier or made as much money. I don't appreciate your review because never, in all my years of dancing, have i actually had the opportunity to work along-side girls whom were a] drug free; b]homeowners like myself. c]decent car owners and d]clean. I really enjoy my job even if i don't make money because management doesn't suck like most clubs i've worked at. I feel that the Hollywood Tropicana is way out of its league being located in L.A. I am an educated woman that most likely can get a job anywhere especially with my language background; english,italian, german,spanish,arabic and tagalong [phillipino]. I choose to dance and I choose to work at the Hollywood Tropicana. I think you need to update your review or maybe, pay us a visit. I hope you will be prompt in your response.

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Date: Wed, 22 Oct 1997 16:16:33
From: JonDoe917@aol.com
Subject: (None)

I recently got turned onto to the Connection by a close friend and working associate who has become a bit of an afficianado of the local club scene. After reviewing your site, we are both astonished and gratified by the extent of your diligent research into this world.

Frankly, coming out of the stressed professional environment in which both work, supercharged as it is with hypocrisy and political correctness, it certainly is a relief to seek out the excitement and release of a sizzling lap at the local exotic emporium.

Our visits of late to the Industrial Strip in North Hollywood have been a pleasant surprise. The afternoon 2 for 1 laps coupled with the free admission coupon from the LA Weekly and the low pressure O'Douls sales have meant hours of pleasure. The girls are friendly and hard-working. The laps are unpredictable. Some are way too police-state with no groping upon penalty of death, Others allow for an agreeable level of milking and some digital roaming.

The girls generally don't run off after the dance, which is nice, and are anxious for heavy post-grind mentoring. We like the club but don't love the accoutrements. Private booths are fairly private, now $30 with a tip suggested by the girl.

Deja Vu on Coldwater makes you feel more like the Godfather if you have the resources, and you can smoke a stogie. Recently, after a sizzling lapper from a well-endowed and pleasantly plump UCLA biology PHD candidate, I was presented with a coupon for the Halloween Eve very private party-free admission for two and alcohol. Given that this joint is as well managed as any Walmart's franchise I've visited, is this a scam or should we bone up and go?

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Date: Mon, 20 Oct 1997 12:42:49
From: Austin Brooks <amance@cdc.net>
Subject: Variety Acts

Fist of all. I love your web site. The reason I am writing is your the one guy that might be able to help me out. I am a magician who has a kewl sexy show called "Dirty Little Secrets" It has been described as a combination of a rock concert, and Bondage Club meets the Crow Movie.

A While back I worked Strip clubs in Cleveland, and some other small cities. I know about 10 years ago Lance Burton worked The Body Shop in LA with his magic act.

Do you know of any clubs that do this now. What usually happens is I would go in-between the dancers not all but some and do about 7 minutes each time. Upscale clubs booked me because it gives more appeal to ladies coming in.

If not, do you know any clubs that might be up for something like this.

My show is not your traditional magic show at all. for one thing the music I use is from bands like Nine Inch Nails, Depeche Mode, Tori Amos, and a lot of remixes. I deal alot with sex. Like tying girls up, them tying me up, etc.

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Date: Sun, 19 Oct 1997 01:48:24
From: Marwan Khalaf <mar1kluf@webtv.net>
Subject: new clubs

You must check-out Showgirls in Reseda (on Reseda Blvd.). It"s a nice club with friendly girls and food. This club could use a good refernce, it deserves it, especially after battling the city and false News reports it"s gotten.

Also as for Crazy Girls, you must not have gone on a night where there seems to be no-one in charge of cuality-control. This is the only club where the "DAY" girls are consistantly better looking than the "NIGHT"girls. But to get in to the club all you have to do is name drop, since this has become the new "POSURE" central.

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Date: Wed, 15 Oct 1997 12:51:52
From: Ms. T (name withheld by request)
Subject: the annoying guy M

who ever Mr. name withheld is that has a problem with every girl who works at a strip club because they do not live up to his oh-so high standards needs either to stop going or to stop bitching. Reality check sir, most of the fat and out of shape dancers you refered to would not give you the time of day outside the club, much less the ones you feel are worthy of your time. Speaking as a dancer (who probobly makes more anually than you do), if you don't like it get out, we don't want you there anyway. And as for Zbones top five, I have my issues, but taste is taste so deal.
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Date: Wed, 08 Oct 1997 16:17:39
From: L2
Subject: More Beverly Club info & misc

It has been a while, but went to Deja Vu, North Hollywood recently. I asked some of the dancers about Beverly Club. Many dancers did not recommend the place. One dancers mentioned she worked at the BC for a few days. She said there is no contact dancing there because it was an alcohol serving club. Her words, "Do you want to have alcohol and no contact, or no alcohol and full contact?".

BTW, I asked about the DJVNH club management, and many dancers did not feel it was too strict. Quality of the dancers has gone way up. Many Valley Ball and Bob's defectors. Mileage and touching has increased quite a bit too. This is probably due to the combination of relaxed management, experienced lap dancers, and dancers knowing how to block the cameras with their body. With the right dancer, the theme rooms are not to be missed! DJVNH compares with other consistently high mileage nude clubs such as Spearmint Rhino, City of Industry and Tropical Lei.

Also checked out The Gentlemen's Club a few weeks back. Went to see Penthouse Pet Lydia Schone. Disappointing! As for house dancers, pretty good. Most knew how to give a good contact lap dance. $25 for laps and $20 for a nude show a few feet away. Best value was the numerous 2 for 1. First song is cut short (~30 sec) and second is full length.

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Date: Sat, 04 Oct 1997 15:34:21
From: J.J. <jglass@pe.net>
Subject: "MAJOR" Disappointment

Per your web site, I visited the City of Industry's Spearmint Rhino.

While it is clean, beautiful and their fireplace makes it quite cozy -- it is DARKEST, worst lite club in the L.A. Metro area. After of 45 minutes without being able to see faces, much less of other attributes, and, only one friendly lady (the rest had 'tudes), I took leave. Too much and far and away better competition in the area to be victomized.

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Date: Fri, 12 Sep 1997 18:55:44
From: Roy C Brandt <rcyclone@brigadoon.com>
Subject: Bare Elegance 9/15/97

I visited Bare Elegance this past Monday on contest night for the first time in about a year - to sum it up, it has gone from Best to Barf. The dancers working were VERY poor quality- a few borderline migrane to look at. I also noticed the majority of the dancers were hispanic - no offense - until the contest started. Every single dancer allowed to paticipate was hispanic. The three dancers not choosen were two african girls, one exceptionally attractive, and a real looker caucasian blonde, the other african girl was "average". I saw many customers approach the two disqualified girls that looked rather disturbed by the pick and ask why they were not in the contest. In my opinion one of these girls, probably would have one without trying. Some of the girl choosen were really trashy so I went to the booths with an o.k. worker. But I found it strange that the contestants were not drawn from a hat and picked if they so had limited space. It is also a "really big coincidence" that all picked were hispanic. What's Up Z? Have you been to Bare recently. The last time I was I saw Madison and many other girls of this quality. Very dissapointing for a club once so nice.
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Date: Fri, 12 Sep 1997 18:55:44
From: Booster67@aol.com
Subject: bikini bottom types

very impresssive and informative as a butt nut i was most pleases thank you for taking the time to educate us.
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Date: Fri, 25 Jul 1997 19:45:20
From: BMWFOUR@aol.com
Subject: Club Updates

  1. Did Vegas recently. Olympic Gardens was xlnt. Lot's of energy, many beautiful women. Great place to go with one or two friends, grab a booth, get some drinks and pack about six gorgeous women in the booth, having one or two dancing continuously. No heavy touching here, but lots of innuendo regarding after hours stuff. Suspect that most dancers do a bit of selective hooking.

  2. Also visited Tally Ho. Different. Dancers were well off the Olympic Garden standard, but the nude couch dance was very nice. Lots of touching. Nice to be able to squeeze the tits. Private room was $75 for thirty minutes. First of all, the dancer got freshened up: new perfume, different dress. Nice touch. Then, I asked if I could strip her. That was fun, being able to peel off spandex dress. She didn't want me touching between the legs,but everything else was fine. Since we were in the private booth, I asked if I could remove my shirt. She approved and soon we were chest-to-chest doing a bit of slow dancing. Different and fun. Great place. Limited choice of dancers and no alcohol, so arrive with a buzz and lots of cash.

  3. LA Update
    Took your advice and tried Spearmint Rhino (4 stars!!!!) in Industry on a Friday-Sat night(s). Very nice, and, in my opinion, the best in LA. If you want to keep promoting the sleezy Jet Strip to keep the riff-raff away from the better places, I applaud your strategy, but if you really think that the Jet Strip is nicer than S.R.....well, too each his own. I spent several dances with a short blond at S.R... lots of ta ta touching while she stroked Mr. Johnson and then went down on me. Nifty. I could have kissed the kitten, but I get a little scared about that. Here, some of the dancers are more likely to hang around (provided they get a dance every once in a while).Top Notch music, decor and I like the way the dancers wear nicer clothes when off stage.. dresses and such.

  4. While in the neighborhood checked out Hawaii Theatre and Paradise. Hawaii is definitely sleezier but no more action or better looking women. Paradise is a nude place that seems to attract a Mexican crowd. I had a drink and noticed that most of the guys were wearing clean white tee shirts and chinos...they were more civilized than the patrons of most clubs, very quiet and polite. It was also too bright.
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Date: Sun, 06 Jul 1997 19:11:36
From: Fred9420
Subject: SAVANAH

I have a message for you from Savannah at the Venus Faire. I was speaking with her regarding your web site and she mentioned that you had given another Savannah a bad rap. Ironically she worked in a few places right after the other Savannah had left and the new customers thought she is the bitch. But this Savannah is very nice and now her reputation is hurting because of another Savannah. Can you help? She asked is you would be interested in interviewing her in person at the Venus Fair. Tell her I sent you. thanks.
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Date: Wed, 25 Jun 1997 22:59:35
From: Tec
Subject: Chess Playing Dancers

I ran across your December 1996 dancer of the month review. I was actually briefly involved with a dancer who like to play chess in the club. Talk about your incongruities. She was quite good but some how I beat her the first two times we played chess. Unfortunately, my chess ability deteriorated just like the relationship. I still wonder if there was a correlation...
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Date: Wed, 04 Jun 1997 17:02:12
From: Rob <surftoy@earthlink.net>
Subject: desperately seeking...

your site led me to bob's classy lady where i met a dancer going by the name ivy. so i don't go for a month or two and return to bob's and find that ivy doesn't work there anymore! help! can't seem to find her in the other clubs i called... 'course she may use another stage name... do you have any clue where i can find her? have you run into her at bob's... y'know 5'5" blond, young, erotic laps... slight european accent... i'm posting a reward of a lap dance if you or any of the people on this site can find her... thanks. rob.
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Date: Tue, 1 Apr 1997 23:39:09
From: JTu
Subject: New clubs

I have just visited the new club 20/20 in Pasadena. It is a very nice club, clean, spacious, and full bar. The cover is 5.00 and the girls are 7-9's. There are two pool tables and decent food. The only negative is that, like Fantasy Island, it is bikini dancing only. No tit, ass, or beaver. My opinion is that it is not worth the trip!!

The next club is bikini too. It is located in Reseda and named Showgirls. This place is very small and sucks big time.

My suggestion is to save up and fly to Las Vegas and get some tease and them go shoot the wad at the Chicken Ranch. Estimated cost $100 One Fuck.

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Date: Sat, 15 Mar 1997 14:00:29
From: Disgruntled Dave
Subject: Short songs

Hey, am I the only one in the world bothered by clubs playing less than full length (usually 3 minute) songs? This sort of detracts from the value of a private dance and, frankly, I don't think the dancers on stage try quite as hard to have a routine of any kind if they think the song is going to be over so soon.
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Date: Thu, 27 Feb 1997 08:08:35
From: Martin M. (name withheld by request)
Subject: Response to posting of Top 5 list comments

I have delayed responding to your publishing portions of an e-mail exchange we had on your web site. As long as my full name is withheld I do not object per se to your posting of our e-mail. I do, however, object to some of the additional commentary which was added on the web.

Z:
Well, I'm often compelled to do that because I have a twisted sense of humor and it just comes out sometimes. I will post this one without cutting anything out but I will still be adding my smart-*ss comments.

M:
I do not want to to get into a war of Flames.

Z:
Why not? It's all just in fun.

M:
In the past I have found your web site and ASSC commentary as the best sources of information on Strip clubs in Southern California. On the other hand, having visited nearly all of these clubs and knowing many of the same dancers, I have formed my own opinions.

I don't believe that I am "cheap" because I object to every customer having to tip the stage dancer. I always tip if I am at the dance rail. I know the dancers make their money from the tips which they must split with the house and many times I have tipped if I am not at the rail if few others are tipping or I like the dancer. What I dislike is being forced to tip every fat or out of shape woman who jumps on stage.

Z:
BWAHAHA! I'd tip to see a fat dancer "jump" on stage! If she fell off the stage, I would tip her a $20. I know I'm sick.

M:
In the three years that I have visited strip clubs, I have met dancers all over Southern California that I have crossed paths with during what I thought was my conservative life. Most of these women I now know by at least a first name basis. I don't know about you but I feel uncomfortable when a woman I know only by an alias has complete access to all of my records during her 9-5 job. My concern is not with my friends or family who already know I go to the clubs.

Z:
I guess a dancer friend of yours works at the video store and she knows your credit card number as well as all the porno movie titles you've rented.

M:
In my initial message I was trying to be diplomatic in my disagreement with your rankings, especially of the dancers at Mr. J's. Since it opened I can only recall seeing about 3 or 4 truely gorgous dancers.

Z:
Are we talking about the same club? "Since it opened"!? You realize, Summer (dancer of the month) who used to work there, was in the Playboy Strip Search video. I think we can agree to disagree on this topic.

M:
Based only upon the looks of the dancers, I would rank Orange County clubs:

  1. Fritz, That's Too
  2. Sahara
  3. TJ's Theatre
  4. Captain Creams
  5. Flamingo

(maybe, the quality drops after the first 3)

A similar partial (looks only) list for Los Angeles County:

  1. Tropicana
  2. Bare Elegance
  3. Deja Vu, North Hollywood
  4. Fritz, That's It!
  5. The Gentlemen's Club

(I have not been able to visit all the new or revised clubs in LA)

BTW: Pearl at TJ's is a good call for Feb Dancer of Month. I don't know Rayne, I first met Pearl when she was working at the Flamingo during the day. My favorite dancer is offen mistaken for Pearl since they both work nites at TJ's.

Z:
Once again, my list is not by looks. Read my FAQ again. As for Pearl, at least we agree on something. :)

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Date: Thu, 26 Dec 1996 19:11:59
From: CHANTEL@webtv.net (SUSANNE DERIAN)
Subject: Los Feliz

Take a note. Why do you have such an old rating for "Cheetah's" location, when in the December 96 issue of Vogue magazine, they submitted that the Los Feliz village area was considered the new trend, and the magazine article included a map where "Cheetah" was within the boundaries.

Z:
You are correct in that there are much worse areas in nearby Hollyweird. The Los Feliz Village area is a large area and some of it is nicer. However, just because Vogue says it's trendy does not change what goes on in that area. When was the last time you saw somebody from Vogue in Cheetah's?

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Date: Thu, 21 Nov 1996 18:56:56
From: Martin M. (name withheld by request)
Subject: I disagree Your Top 5 list

I have been monitoring your site off and on since January and I have found it useful in the past. I cannot agree with your list of "The Top 5 Favorite LA Strip Clubs" for September 1996.

I have visited almost every club in Southern California, a total of about 40 clubs. I realize clubs come and go or change management, but I try to remain current by visiting new clubs and talking to dancers about other clubs. I also occasionally lurk in the alt.sex.strip-clubs newsgroup, although sifting through all the garbage there is a pain.

No. 5 Pussycat Club: I cannot disagree, I have never heard of this club.

No. 4 Mr. J's: Are you kidding? It is free and I live close by, yet I very rarely visit it.

No. 3 Bob's Classy Lady: I am not normally into features. Many times you can meet the "features" working as regular dancers at other clubs, such as, The Fritz, Tropical Lei, Sahara, etc..

No. 2 Gentleman's Club: Not even close to my top 5. Although I liked Madison when I met her before I heard about her. (Latter, she was interviewed in a local TV news report about dancers).

No.1 Body Shop: Hopefully it has improved, I have not been there since it changed to nude. The last time I was there I was so bored a dancer stopped in the middle of her stage act to ask me if I was "tired". I left to find a better club and never returned.

Where is Tropical Lei? This is the most glaring omission from your list. I had not been there in a while, however, I found my recent return well worth the effort.

Z:
Normally, I would ignore these questions about my Top 5 list but at least this one was a little more thought out than the usual, "You SUCK!" letters I get.

First of all, if you read my FAQ, you'd know that this list is just my fave clubs at the time of writing. You don't like Mr. J's but you don't tell me why. You don't like The Gentlemen's Club but you don't say why. You don't agree that there are good looking dancers at these clubs? Bob's is the only club that has weekly features. You don't disagree with that, do you?

If you really have been reading my site since January, you know that Tropical Lei has been my number 1 club since I started this list. It has only recently been dropped because I got burned out of it and I think the quality has gone down a little too much.

M:
Yes, Mr. J's does have some good looking dancers. My primary objection to this club is the annoying way the dancers "beg" every patron for tips after every stage performance. I have only seen this at two other clubs: Captain Creams in Lake Forest and recently the Fritz Too in Anaheim.

Z:
Sorry to startle you but that's how the dancers make money. Just say "No" if you don't want to tip.

M:
Furthermore, many times I cannot watch most of the stage performances because of the excessive use of strobe lighting. If I am not at the tip rail, I reserve the right to tip only those dancers I choose.

As for good looking dancers, perhaps this club is too close to home. A couple of the best looking dancers there have had dealings with myself or my family when they had regular 9-to-5 jobs. These women want to return to their regular jobs some day when dancing is no longer as lucrative.

Z:
OK. So let me get this straight. You don't like Mr. J's because you have to tip, the strobe lights hurt your eyes, it's too close to your home and your family know the dancers. Alrighty.

M:
[As for Bob's], What about Flamingo's in Anaheim? They have feature dancers once or twice a month. While not my favorite club even in the area (Sahara, TJ's and Fritz Too are near by) it has a large stage and only costs $1 before 6:30pm or $5 after with coupons from the local newspaper, the Orange County Register Sport's section.

BTW: The last time I was at The Fritz in Bellflower, an otherwise "feature" dancer sat on my lap until my legs were becoming sore while I had only a few official dances. Personally, I would rather have the breasty blonde sit on my lap and talk then appear on stage with a lot of glitz.

Z:
Well at least your consistent. You don't like tipping, you don't like paying the cover and you want free lap dances. What you want is the Top 5 cheapest clubs in LA. Why don't you send me your top 5 list so I can complain about it?

M:
Criticism is easy.... I will think about it.

Z:
I'm still waiting...

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Date: Fri, 8 Nov 1996 02:54:07
From: nobody@huge.cajones.com
Subject: Shane

ZBONE - you've got to post the names of videos for Shane for us less-clued-in types...

Z:
She's in most of the Seymore Butts movies and of course she's in all the Shane's World series. She'll be coming out with a new series pretty soon so keep an eye out for it.

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Date: Mon, 04 Nov 1996 11:15:40
From: "Debbie & John"
Subject: balloons popping

Dear sir, do you have on video tape or photos of Tiki and Kan popping balloons or any other similar photos or tapes that we can purchase of women an balloons popping?

Thank you john and Deb

Z:
Ahhh. This is a joke, right?

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