The Internet
Letters to Z Bone For 1998
BobSometimes Z Bone readers just want to flame me or tell me something without asking me anything. Others want to expunge their guilt by confessing to Z.

There is no claim by me that any of these e-mails relate to reality. The more interesting or thought provoking ones will be posted right here. Obvious shills will not, unless it's downright hilarious.

Submissions may be edited or shortened at Z Bone's discretion or lack thereof. If you do not want your name shown, please specify so in your e-mail.


Date: Tue, 29 Dec 1998 07:43:25
From: Ben Berkowitz
Subject: Star Strip Too

Went to Star Strip Too last night, based on your review. I must say, you were right on the mark. As it was a Monday night the club was dead. However, management was cool about the whole thing; I ended up walking out with five free passes. Security was no issue at all; one guy was thrown out, though, for sneaking in the back door. But the dancers! There were three or four that were absolutely mind-blowing. You should up the club's Nasty Factor to 5 stars out of 4, as well, because these girls got absolutely nasty. Without a doubt the best place I've ever been in that respect. It was well worth the money, time, and even the slight uncomfortability factor (when there are 6 dancers and 4 customers in the whole place, it gets a little weird). Great club, though - highly recommended.
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Date: Mon, 14 Dec 1998 04:24:53
From: Mspiggigrl
Subject: Frustrated Dancer from DJVNH

Hello, I am a college student working my way through school at Deja Vu, North Holllywood. I am e-mailing you to see if you have any ideas to help me fix a very bleak looking situation. A brave dancer actually sued the company for all of the ways they mistreat us. She was consequently fired for her lawsuit. (She was pregnant.) Now DJV has a bulletin posted in the dressing room that is meant to scare the girls out of wanting to change their independent contractor status over to employee. It is a huge list of all the benefits of being an independent contractor, leaving out the fact that we are given regulations and forced to pay for our dances which are things independent contractors do not legally have to do. On the other side was a list of all the horrors of becoming an employee. It included descriptions of having to dance for all club patrons and staff that management asks you to dance for, not getting to keep the money for dances, having to work 40 hours a week if management tells you to, and many more exaggerations. It leaves out the fact that if they were to implement these regulations the club would no longer have any dancers. The dancers all believed all of this propoganda. Some of them are afraid of being killed by the mafia, they claimed that they saw on A & E that DJV is connected to over 200 missing dancers. (Obviously I am working with a lot of impressionable people.) This is our chance to right this situation. I need to show these girls why the club wants them to vote to stay independent contractors so that they see the real benefits and protection of being considered employees.
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Date: Mon, 30 Nov 1998 00:37:36
From: ENGNR 1
Subject: too much tequila

I had a bit too much tequila in my home-brewed margarita and wound up here on your site. I haven't been on ASS-C in over a year, and haven't been back to LA since I left at the end of '96. I was glad to see you and the gang (such as it is) are alive and well and even on the radio (I guess Kato Kaelin just didn't cut it on KLSX). My old California convertible (the Mustang 5.0) is gone, replaced by a proper German sedan (I now have Virginia ENGNR 1 plates, though, continuing the tradition of my old California plates which now grace the wallls of my office). I am humbled to see two of my old posts in the ASS-C hall of fame, including what turned out to be my last post (the "cream or sugar?" post). I have only visited two clubs in the past 14 months; that weekend in San Francisco will be etched in my memory forever. My wallet still does not forgive me, and I've toned it down ever since. Glad to see you guys still there, stronger than ever. I will return, someday, some way.
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Date: Fri, 27 Nov 1998 23:16:28
From: Gunner <Gunner@hawaii.rr.com>
Subject: Rumor

Have you heard of this? Feature dancer and adult film star Leanna Hart is missing. Apparently her last gig was in October dancing at a club in Hawaii. The rumor is that she showed up late, met up with some unsavory-looking characters, left with said unsavory-looking characters, and has not been seen since. My only interest in this odd story is that I met her during this time. She did indeed show up late the day I went to see her. It was in the afternoon. She looked a bit tired and distracted, but was otherwise in good spirits. She completed her set, I got some souvenirs from her then left, so I couldn't confirm the part about the hooligans. I have just started seeing this rumor on the internet on newsgroups and in a couple of websites.
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Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1998 01:13:00
From: Dave in Phoenix <davephx@primenet.com>
Subject: ASSC LA Hostess Dance Clubs

I have reviewed all the great information on hostess or taxi-dancer or dime-a-dance clubs on zbone.com and plan to check them out. His view is they "usually yield better mileage than strip clubs". Arriving Thanksgiving day and doing my social experiment thru Sunday.

If anyone has any very recent info or particular hostesses that enjoy more intimate touch, massage etc which is my interest not finguring, etc I'm interested.

Plan to visit Dreamland, Club Flamingo, Club Fantasy, but probably not Club Starlight based on zbone's great reviews as of 10/4/98. My only concern is the safety of the area and will I as an older white, professional type (not riding a motorcyle) be a bit out of place. Hope can park my rental car safely. But should be interesting. I did my social experiment at the San Fran strip/nude clubs earlier in the year with very interesting results (see sexwork.com dancer section for trip report).

I enjoy sensual intiamacy, caressing, giving massages (prof trained in Esalen and lead couples intimacy/massage workshops) which so many dancers enjoy from me. I have no interest in just tease or looking at women's bodies naked or not, if anyone has other ideas for old Dave to try in downtown or near downtown LA area, I'd welcome them for my reserach in LA project!

Dave in Phoenix
Sexwork Cyber Resource Center at http://www.sexwork.com

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Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1998 22:57:11
From: MICHAEL J ROSS <MIKEROSS50@prodigy.net>
Subject: Industry - Rhino

Real bad time. Dancers had a poor personility. Managers incharge were real jerks.
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Date: Wed, 07 Oct 1998 23:52:49
From: kricket@labyrinth.net
Subject: Life Goes On

Dear web master.
My wife used to work at the Tropical Lei several years ago. The thing that impressed her most was that I was willing to take her baby on our first date with us. I got her flowers. We had a nice dinner. I played with her daughter and she fell in love with me. It was a very normal date we didn't have wild sex. I am not an attractive man I'm six feet tall bald and weigh 250 pounds. I believe that the only reason she even gave me a chance was that I was sincere about her and her baby. I adopted her when she was a year old. We have been happily married for four years. She is dancing now in a local club.

I've seen the question raised many times "how do I date a dancer?" The truth is, Be yourself. If you are fairly charming, you can get a date with any quality lady. We now have a son together. It is a turn on for me to know that many men want her, but I get her. Our sex life is really normal. we don't go wild or invite other people to share in the action. We have a no one gets hurt policy in our marriage. I believe the majority of dancers aren't freaks and can even get a bit borring at times. It's like the porns. Remember how you had sex for the first time and was kinda' dissapointed when the girl didn't scream her lungs out and gyrate all over you like a porn queen? A dancer is just a woman doing a job.

thanks for reading.

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Date: Sat, 3 Oct 1998 22:17:38
From: Blake344@jong.com
Subject: sf strip clubs

Hey guy, You're way off base on your reviews. Lots of dancers are sociopathic scammers. Chez Paree is a relentlessly unpleasant space, everything is straight out hustle. Do you work for the clubs or what?

Z:
No, just an ASSCer, and as you probably know, the ASSCers get special treatment at CP in SF. As always, YMMV. And in SF, YMWV.

B:
So you admit you're not objective. Your reviews of these clubs were totally bogus. I could write much better and more accurate ones. And as for your acronyms, I guess that's just your own private language. You don't know what you're talking about. :)

Blake

PS Stick with LA, everything's bogus there anyway.

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Date: Sun, 12 Jul 1998 17:47:33
From: James Strachan <jesq711@earthlink.net>
Subject: Lighting Features

I'm going to vent to you and perhaps it might filter back to some one who gives a sh**. The problem is beautiful feature dancers performing in lousy lighting.

But what really makes me leave a club spitting mad with a pocket full of money: Drop dead beautiful features dancing in the same awful lighting as the house dancers use.

I know why the house dancers use dim lighitng, some don't want to be seen in the light for obvious reasons. So the house devises the most god awful lighting ever cast upon the human form. But when the feature dancer takes the stage there is no change in the lighitng. The features have nothing to hide and in fact damage their appearance by performing in poor lighting.

What amazes me is that these girls spend thousands of dollars on their appearance. Surgery, dieting, exercise, make-up, hair, personal trainers, etc. They spend money on travel, booking agents, hotels, etc. Then perform in the worst lighting ever cast upon the female form. Don't they care? The only explanation I can imagine is that they are making so much money they just don't give a damn, but then why use costumes and dance routines, why not just stand naked under a dim street light in the rain?

What gives? Is it the club owners? Do they refuse to change the lighting for the features? Are they stupid? Are they against making money? Don't they understand that men are visually stimulated?? When they ave a DaVinci on stage, why throw a blanket over it? If they display it properly guys will jam the rail, buy more private dances, spend more money. I personally have left clubs with hundreds of dollars in my pocket I would have gladly spent if I had been properly entertained. Help me undersatnd ZBone, I'm lost.

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Date: Sat, 11 Jul 1998 13:08:54
From: O C R <oc_rob@juno.com>
Subject: The Z Bone Radio Show?

Caught just a bit of you on KLSX last night. I was wondering when someone from KLSX would get you on the air. Nice going!

Could this be a regular thing? Imagine first Matt Drudge with his own TV show and now Z Bone with a radio show...who da thunk?

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Date: Sat, 11 Jul 1998 07:46:25
From: zaphodbeeblebrox@technologist.com
Subject: Sydney

I am an avid listener to the Nasty Man show on 97.1 FM. This evening (7/10/98) I was listening as ZBone was featured on the show. I would really like to know more about Sydney. She sounds like a very fun person.

I understand that she is to appear with Sheena's Beer Bong. As a great Beer Bong fan, I find this very exciting.

I searched your site for any photos/info on Sydney, but I didn't find anything. Is there any way I could find photos and/or send email to her.

I appreciate your time in reading this email and thank you for the wonderful entertainment you offer. Keep up the good work and please tell Sydney to Keep Rockin'!

Thank you,

Zaphod

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Date: Mon, 29 Jun 1998 01:00:56
From: DOUG ROSS <dross21@earthlink.net>
Subject: CLOWN

I used to go out with a girl that "claimed" to have danced at the Clown Room. She even said she danced with C. Love. I didn't believe her then but after reading up on Clown Room maybe it was true - she was very slezzy.
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Date: Wed, 24 Jun 1998 15:21:55
From: Ernie Ernst <ernst@westworld.com>
Subject: Jumbo's review

"Old, dirty, and small." Just like your dick?
Z:
My dick is not dirty.
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Date: Sun, 14 Jun 1998 13:43:59
From: Broncocpa@aol.com
Subject: Naming Names

I enjoy your site very much, but I do have one very important concern. Having dancers identified in your bulletin board section worries me. I know of a few girls whose names have been mentioned in various posts who have taking some heat at the clubs they work at by managers and floaters. I guess you can say there is a fine line for what your website is intendede to provide to your readers. However, it can also provide a disservice if the "wrong people" use this information against the clubs and/or dancers.
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Date: Sun, 31 May 1998 16:12:17
From: A007c@aol.com
Subject: Harvey's Bar & Grill

Being an employee of this bar i think that your review is a little off base. It has been a while since you've been in (6/96). Anyway the inside has been spruced up a bit. The DJ booth is all the way to the right in the back of the bar as is the 1 dart board and 2 golf games. We were not told to go back to bikini it was a choice, granted a dumb one but i don't own the place. Now there are 5 pool tables and 1 dart board and golf games. There are 6 TV's and the stage seat's 20 +. Weeknights are slow but unless something happens that is out of our control there is a normal shift of 6 girls. Friday is still the most solid night by far with the best dancers, DJ, bartender Etc. To your liking Kristin is still working so maybe you can come in and give her some of your money. Also if your going to post this for other people to read maybe out of fairness you should update it since the last update was 9-23-97. later
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Date: Sat, 30 May 1998 03:04:19
From: Ugly Joe <joeugly@email.msn.com>
Subject: Joe's 30th B-day bash

Last night was my 30th B-day bash at Bob's Classy Lady, and I must tell you it was my best party ever. About 60 to 80 friends made it and every one has been calling today to thank me. We packed the V.I.P. room wall to wall. It holds 30 to 35 comfortably, and we had about 50 in there at a time. Sandy the manager was very nice and extremely accommodating. She had my girlfriend and I pick 8 girls for private dances in the room and the place was rocking!!! The girls put on an amazing show with very little room to work because it was so packed. They played to everyone there, paid special attention to me, and to my delight(and everyone else's)got very personal with my girlfriend. All the dancers wanted a piece of her. They allowed us a full bar in the room as long as no liquor left that space, allowed us to cater it as long as the dancers could eat, and everyone got bracelets so the could get free soft drinks if they wished to. It cost me a pretty penny but well worth it.
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Date: Sun, 24 May 1998 20:35:44
From: maonaco@juno.com
Subject: Disease transmission

Now what started me thinking about this was an article in the British medical jurnal Lancet, talking about a case of indirect contact transmitting Hepatitis C. The man, unamed in the article, contracted it with from a protitute who gave him a hand job. (The article refers to the act as a "manual stimulation to achieve climax". I shit you not.) The hepatitis virus in the woman's saliva was enough to transmit the virus to the john.

Now this got me thinking... No dancer gives a hand job, but now every time I watch some guy slurp and slobber on some dancers breast, I wonder, is that enough to transmit Hep C? Maybe...But it is enough to transmit a cold or flu virus, or even a cold sore virus. All of these are extremely hardy virus, able to live on surfaces for days unless killed. Now soap and water will remove them, but I do not see many of the dancers washing their breasts between table dances do you?

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Date: Sun, 17 May 1998 06:59:19
From: Tom Schlong <mach5tom@email.msn.com>
Subject: Horny and connot take it anymore, please help me or I will die

Please write me and tell about you and your sexual fantasy you have. I will also tell you mine, I will tell you all of them believe me. About the stockings and what I want to do with them with you. I can't say anymore but they are weakness so are womens feet, I love womens feet. I love messaging them and manking them feeel better after my poor little baby has worked sooooooooooo hard.
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Date: Tue, 05 May 1998 04:00:46
From: <fingolfinx@hotmail.com>
Subject: Raving about dancers on BB

I would like to suggest that you NOT allow a "fan club" mentality for any single dancer to exist in your bulletin boards. I have been told that such "hyping" may have the following effect:
  • Attention from club management.
  • Attention from LAPD Vice.
  • Attention from an unstable customer.

A dancer mentioned multiple times on your bulletin boards is concerned about the above.

I believe it is not realistic for you to prevent any given dancer from being mentioned. On the other hand, I believe that you can prevent the hyping of a dancer from getting out of hand. Please consider the above points.

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Date: Wed, 29 Apr 1998 21:42:42
From: John Boyle <jwboyle@pacbell.net>
Subject: Ivar Theater

I was browesing the FAQ section and saw your reference to The Ivar Theater. I just wanted to let you know it's nice to see it mentioned. Seedy was an understatement.. but some serious hanky panky used to go on there in the mid '70s. On a couple of occasions I remember dancers coming down from the stage and going from one customers lap to another long before anyone did "official" lap dancing anywhere else. Wrapping of thighs around the customers heads was fairly common too. Fingers in pusseys was a staple. I have many fond memories of that sticky floored dump. Alas indeed.
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Date: Mon, 20 Apr 1998 12:56:23
From: Troy
Subject: Mike Hernandez

I know this is a little late, but this is in regard to your headlines section and the Feb 18th entry about Mike Hernandez. He not only was found with lots of pornographic material in his office but he also was a hugh supporter of Jackie Goldberg, lesbian, Los Angeles Councilwoman's homosexual "encounter club" So if old Mike gets on his high horse and says he is holier than thou then the fat SOB should look in the mirror. He was a big supporter of the bill that gave the club its license. He voted for this bill inspite of the many objections from people in his very catholic and pretty conservative minded district.

Finally whenever Big Mike screams and yells about first amendment, or fith amendment right violations, he should not just be thinking of himself, and the problems that he got himself into. He should think about the rest of us we have rights too. A right to do or watch whatever the hell we want to do or watch and put a business whereever the hell we want!

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Date: Tue, 14 Apr 1998 23:10:09
From: GreenDog <greendog1@earthlink.net>
Subject: Pipe Dream?

It seems like lately everyone's talking about building new arenas in Los Angeles and Hollywood, citing all of the jobs that will be created and the great economic impact on the surrounding community, when, to my way of thinking, Staples Arena will likely employee just as many people as the Great Western Forum and any impact on businesses in downtown L.A. will be offset at the expense of Inglewood. Still, the media seems to gobble that sh*t up and never questions it.

In the wake of all of the strip club busts, probably sponsored by the same overpaid community "leaders" who are foolishly lowering the city's bond rating just to please some billionaires, I was wondering if the gentlemen's clubs in L.A. or any other city have ever done their own economic impact reports of their own. I would imagine that a larger strip club like Bob's Classy Lady accounts for 90 - 100 employees, considerable sales tax revenue and helps out local businesses like gas stations, convenience stores, etc. Perhaps it seems insane, but it might be really cool to get the club owners together to present the POSITIVE things they're doing for the community.

Maybe this is just a pipe dream.

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Date: Sat, 4 Apr 1998 18:20:41
From: Kevin <GraphRackr@aol.com>
Subject: Bob's

Long time fan, 3rd time writer. Been diggin the Bullentin Board. Anyway, was Bob's Classy Lady recently busted or something? I'm used to High Mileage dances at Rhino Industry, and decided to finally get a dance at Bobs. I rested my hands on the thighs of the girl I was getting a dance from, and she says, "I don't mind, but if they catch you, they're going to yell at your ass..."

In the booth next to me, the guy getting a dance put his hands around the girl's waist, and outta nowhere 4 security guards come running up, "Get your fucking hands off her!" The girl I was gettin a dance from said, "See, told ya!"

Anyway, definatley not worth $20 compared to Spearmint Rhino dances..

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Date: Fri, 27 Mar 1998 18:56:18
From: Robert <B2CLASSY4U@aol.com>
Subject: Picking Up Dancers

I wanted to drop you a note to say just how much I appreciate your opinons and articles. I must say that you are right on in every aspect of your findings. I like yourself am a fan of club hopping and socializing with the girls. I have even developed some goodfriendships with some of the dancers at various clubs. I really found your article to be of interest on the subject of "picking up dancers to take home." I find that nearly 99.9 % of these dancers are so sick of the "everyday questions" that it only takes something as minor as being different from the rest of the guys to set you apart and in good favor in her eyes. (Not being the everyday dickhead)
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Date: Wed, 25 Mar 1998 22:02:55
From: Tim & Joanne Jaskow <jaskowman@sprint.ca>
Subject: Lame. I heard shane on radio

Shane, I really thought you could have done better! I heard you on 97 Power here in Winnipeg, and understand your site is still under construction, but surely you could have done better than this!! SPANK SPANK
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Date: Fri, 20 Mar 1998 13:09:44
From: Doug
Subject: Visits to So. CA Clubs

I recently visited a couple of clubs in you area and found your web page very helpful. My take on the following clubs:

California Girls Nice waitress, good looking girls who will sit and talk without the hustle. Visited at 4pm Tue 17th.
Fritz Too Nice setup a classy club. Lots of hustling for dances. Visited 7pm Tue 17th.
Spearmint Rhino
Santa Barbara
Only two girls working, both 6 1/2. DJ hastled the patrons (only 4 of us) to get up and tip the girls. He went so far as to single out the patrons to tip. I tip for performance not to give away money! It was so bad I left after one drink! Visited 6pm Wed. 18th.
Spearmint Rhino
Oxnard
Lots of girls working all 7+. Good attitude nice setup. Recomend Tatyanna (hope I didn't butcher that), great attitude, great laps, brunett, definite 8, nice rack! Visited 7pm Wed. 18th.
Jet Strip Ok setup with lots of girls most 6s. Spent time with Mallory definite 8! Great attitude, black hair, nice rack. Went for the combo dance... what a trip! Highly recomend her!! Visited 1pm Thru. 19th.

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Date: Tue, 3 Mar 1998 10:38:07
From: maonaco@juno.com
Subject: Random Thoughts on the Passing Parade of Life

Went to see a movie today, "Dangerous Beauty", which started me thinking. It was about a woman, a courtesan of Venice, who rather unbelievably had a hand in two major events in history, but the story is true. Anyway, there was a lot of dialog which talks about how she as a courtesan was supposed to be sort of an entertaining woman. as well as a sexual companion. it is interesting, ghat is how, minus the actual coitus part, I would like the dancers to be like. I like intelligence, I like education and having conversation about things other than a sexual nature.

I know that puts me in a minority of Spearmint Rhino and other club patrons...but dammit! It is what I want from a club. Sometimes what you would call a 5 or 6 dance becomes something more when I know a little about the woman. Hey, I know that they can lie, and often do, but there must be truth mixed in it somewhere for it to be believable...

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Date: Tue, 3 Mar 1998 10:38:07
From: PeerlessGT@aol.com
Subject: G-Strings & Things

I was just in your thong and G-string web site and found it to be very delightful. Just as you, I am also a fan of the G-string and thong bathing suits ... however life here in the "bible belt" does have it's drawbacks. Thongs nor G-strings are allowed on the beaches here in South Carolina ... nor are they allowed to wear in most Gyms and swimming pools. I have only seen one woman in public wearing a thong, and that was in Florida when I was on vacation. I think most people aroung here are too narrow minded about what is "ok" to wear and what is not. If we all catered what we wear to what other people want us to wear ... then what a boring life that would be. I applaud you on your web site .. not only is it educational .. but it is a stand for your beliefs.
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Date: Sun, 04 Jan 1998 09:29:47
From: Gerry McKee <75253.1360@compuserve.com>
Subject: LA Clubs

Last night I went to your Number 1 club pick--Ecstasy. Let me just say that there were some absolutely beautiful women working there. Definitely 9's and 10's.

I entered the club with $300 in my pocket fully prepared to spend it all! But I left after about an hour with about $260 still burning a hole in my pocket. Those girls just do not know how to sell.

I asked a couple of my favorites to join me, but they never seemed to leave the dressing room. I sat by myself the whole time. I looked around the room and there were about 50 guys sitting around by themselves with bored looks on their faces. Or maybe not so bored but more wishful. It reminded me of junior high dance where all the guys are by themselves wishing they knew how to get to know the girls.

If you know some of the manager's and owner's of these clubs, tell them: "They do not know how to have fun in California!"

Tell them to go to any club in Texas to see what to do. In Dallas or Houston, there are 10 times the number of clubs than in LA. And if you go into any one of them there are at least 100 beautiful girls. There are so many dancers that each one can only dance at most one set per night, sometimes none. The girls spend all their time mingling with customers. On busy nights you will sometimes see 20 or 30 table dances going on at the same time. Nobody is sitting alone. Everybody is having fun with a companion. The dancers make more money. The club makes more money. Everybody is happy!

If you go to a Texas club you can spend hours with beautiful girls all over you, sitting on your lap, dancing for you, etc. It is like you have a beautiful girlfriend who is there just to please you. There is no hard sell but just a lot of fun. You will spend a lot more money, but with a smile on your face. Those places are difficult to leave.

In comparison, LA Clubs are pathetic. I am moving back to Texas!

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