Z Bone Zone
How do I become a dancer?
My best advice would be to read this website and first determine what type of club you'd like to work at (i.e. Nude vs. topless, clean vs. nasty, classy vs. sleazy).

Once you narrow down your choices, there is no better way but to actually visit the club and take a look around. Sometimes, you'll get a warm and fuzzy feeling and sometimes you won't. Some clubs are very cut-throat and might not be a good place for a new dancer to start out at.

Once you find a place that seems OK, I strongly recommend that you enter the dance contest there (if they have one). This is not to win the contest. The purpose is to be able to go backstage and see the facilities, talk to the house dancers, talk and interact with the management. If you get a good feeling after that, that's about as much checking as you can do. Unlike normal employment, you don't have to give 2 weeks notice if you don't like it. Just quit. Many dancers just don't come back if they don't like it. Clubs are used to dancers coming and going.

Some pointers for new dancers are as follows:

  1. Hold your money.
    Never leave your money anywhere. Always keep it on your person or in a locked locker (if they have one).
  2. Work at work.
    Keep your work separate from your personal life. Go to work to work. Don't get too friendly with other dancers. Some are really cut-throat. Moreover, if you get too friendly, you'll spend too much time socializing in the dressing room and little time walking around making money.
  3. Bad nights.
    Some nights (or days) are going to be bad. Just because you didn't make money does not mean all that much. Don't read too much into it. Be mentally prepared for these bad nights. Never look like you are pissed off on stage or you will make even less money.
  4. Good nights.
    By the same token, some nights are going to be exceptionally good. Don't think this will be the norm. It evens out the bad nights so don't spend all your money. NEVER tell ANYBODY how much money you are making. If they persist, ALWAYS tell them you are not doing so well. Other dancers can try to mess with your customers if they think you are doing too well. Not to be too paranoid but narcs in clubs (customers as well as employees) have been known to get dancers in trouble.
  5. Smile on stage.
    This sounds easy enough but it's easy to forget when nobody seems to like you. Nobody wants to tip a b*tch. Remember that you are an entertainer performing. If you are sad and tired, you have to work twice as hard to make yourself look happy and energetic.
  6. Save your money.
    Duh. You cannot dance forever. It's very similar to being an athlete. It's quick money for a short time. You will notice that once you get the hang of it, your money will be really good. Then your money will slowly go down. This is not because you are getting old or ugly. This is because the regulars are getting tired of you. At this point, you should go to another club where you will again be the "new" girl to tip.
  7. Pick a good stage name.
    Use a stage name that's distinctive but not too hard to remember. This is the name of your "product". If you think you might be doing this for a while, select a stage last name as well and ask the DJ to announce it for you. Never use your real name. You don't want a customer to call out your name at the mall. If you hear your stage name, you know it's a customer and not a friend calling.
  8. Don't blend.
    In a big club, try NOT to blend in. You need to have your own "look" that makes you different. That does not mean you should be a clown but just don't wear the same thing everybody is wearing. If you work at a club where many dancers wear g-string only, try a teddy. Experiment to see what the customers like there. Never forget that it is fantasy entertainment. Many customers have girl friends and wives and want to see something "hot" that they don't wear. However, if everybody is wearing the same "hot" outfit, wear street clothes with a lot of flesh showing thru holes.

    If you need to get some really far-out stripper shoes, you might checkout Lady Studio in Hollywood at 6500 Hollywood Blvd. Their number is (323) 461-1765. There are a lot of other places but dancers seem to like this one.
  9. Get a tan.
    It just looks better on stage. It makes you look thinner and tighter under the proper lighting. Some people like tan lines, other don't. Personally, I think a tan line is the only way to tell that you have a tan. If you have a small top, a strong top tan line can make your top look bigger.
  10. Hide it.
    Use makeup to cover blemishes on all parts of your body (including your butt). This sounds stupid but in a dark club, you can't tell and you just look a lot better. Cover any rashes you might get from shaving with makeup as well.
  11. Double check it.
    Always look at your private area in a mirror before going on stage. Use Babywipes if you need to get fresh. A small piece of toilet paper will GLOW under black light. If it's that time of the month, make sure to cut the string. While on this subject, use a mild scent perfume or body spray on your body and private area. Don't use too much perfume because some customers don't want that smell when they go home to their wives.
  12. Pick proper music.
    It's important that you like your music. However, don't ever forget that you are dancing for the customers to tip you. You are not dancing for your own health. If the customers seem to be older, don't pick really new and loud music. Generally speaking, older customers have more money. However, younger customers (especially at nude clubs - 18 and over) are easier to hustle if they have money.

    Pick more upbeat music at a topless club. Customers at topless clubs want to be in a party mood. If you are working at a nude club, the second song should be slower and sexier for a floor show.

    Ideally, find a song that you like that matches your personality and use it as your theme music. If none of the other dancers use it, when customers hear this song, they will automatically associate it with you coming on to the stage.

    While on this subject, keep your DJ happy. A few extra bucks tip will go a long way to have him on your side when things go bad. You don't have to be his biggest tipper. Just don't be the smallest tipper.

  13. Avoid burnout.
    Don't overwork yourself. It would seem like if you need money, you should work more days (or nights). However, this often does not work. The reason is burnout. When you work too many days, your attitude becomes bad and you will not make money. Then, to compensate, you will try to work even more days and make even less money. I would suggest that 4 days per week should be the maximum number of days you should work. Also, keep in mind that when regulars keep seeing you at the club, they will get bored of you and stop tipping. It's better to keep them wanting more. To see what can happen when you burnout, click here for a dancer's point of view on this matter.

Read my "Rants and Raves" section on my website regarding "customer types". There's a lot more but you'll just have to pick it up yourself.

Once you have gained some experience, and find that you need to compete with those nasty lap dancers, then your next question will be: "How do I do those nasty lap dances?"

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